


2. Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC

by PuddyGeeks



Series: The 100 Fics [5]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Awkward Crush, Best Friends, Breakups, Childhood Friends, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, F/F, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Friendship, M/M, Oblivious, Original Character(s), Powerful female main character, Protective Older Brothers, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuddyGeeks/pseuds/PuddyGeeks
Summary: A ᴡᴀʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ʙʀᴇᴡɪɴɢ ʙᴇɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ɪʟʟᴜsɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ 100 ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ғᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ᴀ sɪᴅᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴏs. Aᴍᴏɴɢsᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀɪᴇғ, ʙᴇᴛʀᴀʏᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇʀʀᴏʀ, Iɴᴅɪɢᴏ ᴍᴜsᴛ sᴛʀɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ, ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅʟᴇss ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙʀɪɴɢ."𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡; 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡."― 𝑅𝑜𝑦 𝑇. 𝐵𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑡[Tʜᴇ 100 - Sᴇᴀsᴏɴ 3-4]"𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑡. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙."- 𝐶𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒 𝐺𝑟𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑛
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Original Female Character(s), Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Gina Martin/Raven Reyes, Jasper Jordan/Raven Reyes, Monty Green & Jasper Jordan & Original Female Character(s), Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake & Original Female Character(s), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: The 100 Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698553
Kudos: 5





	1. Aᴄᴛ III

Season 3


	2. Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ

═❖════✦══『✙』══✦════❖═

A ᴡᴀʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ʙʀᴇᴡɪɴɢ ʙᴇɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ɪʟʟᴜsɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴅ

ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ 100 ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ғᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ᴀ sɪᴅᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴏs.

Aᴍᴏɴɢsᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀɪᴇғ, ʙᴇᴛʀᴀʏᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇʀʀᴏʀ, Iɴᴅɪɢᴏ ᴍᴜsᴛ sᴛʀɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ

ᴛʜɪɴɢ, ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅʟᴇss ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙʀɪɴɢ.

"𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠

𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡; 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡."

**― 𝑅𝑜𝑦 𝑇. 𝐵𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑡**

[Tʜᴇ 100 - Sᴇᴀsᴏɴ 3-4]

"𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑡. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙."

**\- 𝐶𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒 𝐺𝑟𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑛**

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖  
  
  
  


𝑾𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝑹𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒔  
  


𝐾𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑀𝑐𝑁𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑎 𝑎𝑠

 **I** **ɴᴅɪɢᴏ** **S** **ʟᴏᴀɴ**

Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ғɪɢʜᴛ ᴀ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ ɪᴛ.  
  
  
  


𝑇ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑠 𝐵𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑒-𝑆𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑠

**K** **ɴᴏ** **x R** **ʜᴏᴅᴇ** **s**

  
  
  
𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝐿𝑒𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑎𝑠

 **A** **ʀʟᴏ** **K** **ᴏᴍ** **T** **ʀɪ** **s** **ʜᴀɴᴀᴋʀᴜ**

  
  
𝐵𝑜𝑏 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑠

 **B** **ᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ** **B** **ʟᴀᴋᴇ**

  
  
Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴀs ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ!

  
  
  
Wᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 𝑁𝑜𝑛-𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝑠𝑒𝑥, 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑚, 𝑠𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦, ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠,

𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒, 𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑦/𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙/𝑑𝑟𝑢𝑔 𝑢𝑠𝑒.

Dɪsᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ: 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑇ℎ𝑒 100 𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜

𝐾𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑎𝑛. 𝑂𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝐼𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑔𝑜, 𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑥 & 𝐴𝑟𝑙𝑜 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.

𝔻𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 [Iyssxo](https://www.wattpad.com/user/Iyssxo) 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝔹𝕖𝕥𝕒 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕤, 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕤, 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕦𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥

𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝟙𝟘𝟘𝕩 𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕥 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖.

═❖════✦══『✙』══✦════❖═

**A/N:** It's so exciting to be starting the next chapter of Indie's adventures!

If you've enjoyed this so far, make sure to vote and leave a comment telling

me what you're looking forward to seeing next in Season 3!


	3. Pʟᴀʏʟɪsᴛ

Iɴᴅɪᴇ's Sᴏɴɢ: 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝐸𝑙𝑠𝑒 - Kᴀᴛᴇʟʏɴ Tᴀʀᴠᴇʀ

♬

1\. 𝑆𝑎𝑦 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔

A Gʀᴇᴀᴛ Bɪɢ Wᴏʀʟᴅ, Cʜʀɪsᴛɪɴᴀ Aɢᴜɪʟᴇʀᴀ  
  
  
  


2\. 𝑆𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑆𝑜𝑛𝑔, 𝑃𝑡 𝐼𝐼

Lɪᴛᴛʟᴇ Mɪx  
  
  


3\. 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑆𝑎𝑦 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑀𝑒

Gᴀʙʀɪᴇʟʟᴇ Aᴘʟɪɴ  
  
  


4\. 𝑇𝑜𝑜 𝑀𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑇𝑜 𝐴𝑠𝑘

Nɪᴀʟʟ Hᴏʀᴀɴ  
  
  
  


5\. 𝐼𝑠 𝐼𝑡 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑀𝑒

Eᴍɪʟʏ Bᴜʀɴs  
  
  


6\. 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑

Eʟɪᴀs  
  
  
  


7\. 𝑂𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑌𝑜𝑢

Iɴɢʀɪᴅ Mɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟsᴏɴ, A Gʀᴇᴀᴛ Bɪɢ Wᴏʀʟᴅ  
  
  
  


8\. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑤

Kᴀᴛᴇʟʏɴ Tᴀʀᴠᴇʀ  
  
  


9\. 𝐹𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠

Mᴀɪsɪᴇ Pᴇᴛᴇʀs  
  
  
  


10\. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑇𝑜 𝑀𝑒

Fʀᴇʏᴀ Rɪᴅɪɴɢs  
  
  


11\. 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑆𝑡𝑢𝑓𝑓

Gʀɪғғ  
  
  
  


12\. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝐺𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑂𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑌𝑜𝑢

Gᴏɴᴇ Wᴇsᴛ  
  
  
  


13\. 𝐵𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑔

Mᴀɪsɪᴇ Pᴇᴛᴇʀs  
  
  
  


Moodboard made by [Iyssxo](https://www.wattpad.com/user/Iyssxo)


	4. 𝑈𝑛𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝐴𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ:** Wᴀɴʜᴇᴅᴀ: Pᴀʀᴛ Oɴᴇ

Smuggling my daggers into camp to avoid handing them in to our armoury, I packed away my clothing in a trunk in Octavia’s room and stared at my reflection. It was strange, but it didn’t feel like I had turned my back on the other side of me, but rather that I had merged the two as I promised to utilise what I had learned to assist my family. A knock at the door startled me and I whipped around to find Bellamy hovering awkwardly in the doorway.

“Heard that I might find you hiding out here. Didn’t expect to see you back in camp so soon.” He remarked as he smiled slyly and as I opened my mouth to answer, he shuffled into the room. “Look. I owe you an apology. I was out of line the last time that we spoke. I’m under a lot of pressure right now and I’ve put you in a similar position, which just makes it even worse that you’re the person I took it out on. I always want what’s best for you and sometimes that means disagreeing with you, but I don’t ever want to hurt you, not even by accident. I’m sorry, Inds. You didn’t deserve any of that.” He rambled, his face a sorry picture of remorse as he bared himself to me and I waited for him to allow me the chance to speak. 

“I’m sorry too. I was defensive and unwilling to listen. I didn’t stop to think about how all of this was affecting you, because you seemed so normal and you kept saying that you were okay, so I just stopped asking. I knew you were being weird the last time that I visited and it just wound me into a state. I should’ve listened to your opinion, instead of just yelling at you.” I explained, and his shoulders immediately dropped their tension as he realised that I wouldn’t be holding a grudge. “Are we good?” I asked him nervously, allowing him the opportunity to admit if there was more to his outburst than he had told me, but he simply smiled as he stepped closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders gently.

“We’re good. You were right. I was being weird. I was feeling overwhelmed and missing you was stressing me out. I wish I’d just talked to you about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you how I was feeling until it spilled out of my control. I’m just not used to having someone to depend on.” He divulged, his hands warming my skin and I smiled at him in understanding. “I promise that I’ll do better, okay?” He offered with a sincerity that made my heart ache and I felt certain in this moment that I had made the right decision by coming home.

“Well, it should be easier for you to keep your stress levels down now that you won’t be missing me so much.” I responded cryptically and his handsome features contorted into a confused expression that made me chuckle lightly. “I’m gonna stay in Arkadia. No more running away. Arlo has more investigation to do in Azgeda and I know where I want to be. You were right. This is my home.” I revealed and a relieved smile lit his face up with such genuine joy that it made my stomach flip. 

“Really? You’re gonna stay? That’s great!” He breathed, before he seemed to suddenly doubt himself and anxiety crept into his demeanour. “This isn’t just because of what I said, is it? If you feel like you should be out there. I don’t want to hold you back.” He fretted worriedly and I smiled with appreciation.

“Bellamy, I swear. I’m here because I want to be. It came to time to choose a path and I realised that I already knew the answer.” I explained, causing him to regard me with fondness and sigh contentedly, lapping up every detail of my presence as if there were nothing else he could want. “I just want to make sure that you know you can talk to me about anything. Something you said before worried me, about living with your choices-”

“Love. I promise you, I’m fine. I was just lashing out because I was sick of everyone constantly bringing up Mount Weather. I’m just happy that you’re here. That’s all I need.” He cut me off mid flow with a very convincing assertion and the relaxed tone of his voice almost removed any fears that I carried, leaving only a trace of suspicion that I would continue to watch out for. “Now, if you don’t have any plans for the next couple of hours, I’d like to show you just how sorry I am.” He drawled, as his fingers deftly brushed the hair from my face, before cupping my cheeks and he closed into my space to place the first of many intoxicating kisses on my lips.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

Watching Lincoln and Bellamy spar was a strange experience, though as I glance around the room at the rest of our audience, I found that several of the female members appeared to be enjoying it for entirely different reasons. I couldn’t understand the necessity for them to be shirtless, but I was not about to argue with matters of testosterone and I had no objections to the sight of Bellamy’s toned chest glistening from the exertion. I bit my lip unintentionally and had to quickly remind myself that we were not currently alone, as a rose blush filled my cheeks.

Since I’d been home, Bellamy had been far more open to the idea of adopting some aspects of grounder life, including learning some simple parts of Trig from me. He was doing surprisingly well in the fight and it was clear that he’d taken my suggestion to allow Lincoln to assist with training seriously. He was able to stand his ground for substantially longer than before, even shocking me with a powerful flying punch, but it wasn’t long before he got overconfident and Lincoln threw him over his shoulder in a manner that only he would have the strength to do. Bellamy slammed to the ground with a groan, panting as his opponent hovered over him with his fist raised threateningly, before he stepped away in victory. He approached the waiting group to address them with authority.

“He had me, but he was too aggressive.” He analysed as he marched back and forth in front of the students and Bellamy struggled to his feet behind him.

“Whatever you say.” He remarked with a smirk and slid on his shirt, much to the disappointment of both myself and every other woman in the room.

“Quitting so soon?” Lincoln teased as he glanced over his shoulder at him and I was pleased to witness how comfortable he’d become amongst the residents of Arkadia. He’d settled into the role of training recruits quickly and I knew that many of them were inspired by his resilience. Personally, I enjoyed watching as he discovered his own sense of humour, but worried that his integration with us could backfire at any moment. Though my confidence in our leadership grew by the day, I continued to remain aware of our history and kept a careful watch for any signs of betrayal.

“Mapping run. Sector 7.” Bellamy answered absentmindedly as he finished getting dressed and I sighed with exhaustion.

Though I’d been aware that this was the plan for today, it had been easy to forget whilst occupied by the recruits and I would have preferred to remain in camp. It felt as if guard commitments were the only activity that filled my days now and I missed simply hiding out in our quarters. I didn’t regret joining the guard. It gave me the opportunity to keep an eye on Bellamy during patrols and it had been a rather well thought out plan on his part. However, part of me longed for the lazy mornings where we could be undisturbed, instead of waking to mission briefs in bed. 

“Harper. Let’s get this over with.” Bellamy called over to her and the blonde in question picked up a large holdall, throwing it to Lincoln with a smile. “Council wants you to have that.” Bellamy explained as Lincoln began to open the bag and my stomach lurched as he pulled out a guard jacket.

“I’m Trikru.” Lincoln stated, his eyes growing wide at the gift and he glanced up at Bellamy doubtfully. Internally, I wished that Bellamy had discussed this with me before he decided to act on the request, as I knew from my experience of integrating with the grounders that this was a much more significant situation than he realised and I fidgeted nervously on the spot.

“A uniform doesn’t change that. This is our home now, Lincoln. We fought for it.” Bellamy appealed, fixing him with an encouraging smile, whilst Lincoln simply furrowed his brows, an evident confliction in his face.

I cleared my throat to gain Bellamy’s attention and the moment that he peered over at me in the crowd, I shook my head just subtly enough to hint at him to drop the topic. He was immediately defensive of my silent criticism and turned to address the crowd instead.

“Too many of our friends died for it. On the Ark, the uniform meant something different. Down here, it means what we make it mean. Together.” He stated, attempting to inspire the recruits to great success and although I understood his perspective, I was uncomfortable with the councils intentions for such a gift. “My sister will understand that eventually.” Bellamy dropped his voice to a mutter as he leaned in close to Lincoln, but I managed to overhear him as I approached. I caught Lincoln’s eye as he reflected on Bellamy’s words and when he instructed the waiting audience, there was an evident tension in his voice.

“Pair up and fight. Now.” His statement was more commanding than usual and people rushed into their places with a greater urgency.

“ _You don’t have to wear it if it makes you uncomfortable, Linkon_ .” I offered calmly in Trig and he crooked a brow at me in interest. “ _She won’t appreciate seeing you in the uniform of the people who arrested her. No matter what he wants it to represent now. I’ll talk to him about it later._ ” I confirmed and Lincoln sighed in a gesture of stress, before striding over to Bellamy for a hushed conversation. I rolled my eyes at them and said a hurried goodbye to Harper and Monroe as I left to prepare for the outing.

I arrived into the hangar just in time for the Rovers return from the latest supply run to Mount Weather and began the check procedure that I’d harassed Raven into teaching me. It was near impossible to convince her to allow me to assist her with anything, despite my concerns about her exhaustion and so any tasks that I could take off her list were a blessing.

I’d made a habit of ensuring that I allowed time to get started on Rover maintenance significantly earlier than anyone usually planned to meet for any missions, so that when Raven arrived there was little point in her taking over. The supply group wasted no time in unloading and I worked around them in a well practiced routine.

“Oh, you’re already here!” A bright voice cheered and I turned to find Gina smiling at me, freshly returned from her task. I suspected that she’d mostly joined the guard to keep an eye on Raven and as I found myself in a similar position with Bellamy, I couldn’t blame her for doing so. “I was going to find you when we’d wrapped up here, but this saves time. You’re about to fall in love with me.” She crooned as she leaned back into the Rover to root around and I snorted in laughter at her playful comment.

“Is that so?” I remarked with a smile and Gina huffed in annoyance, before crawling fully inside the vehicle. “I think Bellamy would have a thing or two to say about that, you know.” I added with amusement and instead of a reply, several things clattered about as she knocked items over. Several of her crew mates seemed visibly annoyed by her antics, as they struggled to unload the supplies around her chaotic behaviour.

“I know it’s in here somewhere.” Her muffled voice sounded from between the clutter and I chuckled lightly under my breath. She cheered loudly in celebration and her head emerged from the door with a victorious smile. “So! Your brief was pretty vague on what to keep an eye out for, but I’m happy to report that I have absolutely delivered. Here is your **Greek shit**.” She teased, before presenting me with an immaculately cared for copy of The Iliad. I gasped in response, my eyes growing wide in surprise and she beamed with pride.

“Holy shit. Jackpot!” I exclaimed as I took the book in both hands, flicking through the pages in disbelief. “Gina, I don’t even know if I can thank you enough for this. You couldn’t have picked anything more perfect. Although, I didn’t just ask for Greek shit. I said that or anything mythology based. It’s not my fault if that’s all you focused on.” I defended and she crossed her arms at me, crooking a brow in a sassy manner.

“Right. So very cultured of you.” She drawled and I shook my head at her.

“Seriously though. You exceed all expectations. Thank you!” I enthused, staring down at the book with a deep appreciation and she beamed in response to the praise. “What can I do to pay you back?” I asked in a genuine voice and she shrugged as if she hadn’t done anything special. 

“There’s no need, Indie. It was a simple enough task and I can tell that it was important to you. What are friends for, right?” She responded cheerily and my brows knitted together as I viewed her with a feeling of dissatisfaction. “Okay. If you want to return the favour, you can keep a close eye on Raven for me on today's run. Kane won’t let me go straight back out and she’s been seriously overdoing it lately. I’d feel much better knowing that someone else had her back.” She suggested and I smiled thoughtfully, glad to find that she still had Raven’s best interests at heart despite their bond remaining in the friendship stage. 

“I’d do that for free, but sure. You’ve got a deal.” I confirmed, before returning to finishing up the work on the Rover.

Once I’d completed all the checks that I knew how to do, I busied myself with collecting my gear and dressing for patrol. It still felt strange to wear the guard jacket now that it was tied to a role rather than simply a sentimental item, but the fact that it was Bellamy’s helped to alleviate the awkwardness. This helped me to sympathise with Lincoln’s predicament and I made a mental note to deal with the situation when we returned from our task.

I navigated back to the hangar to find that most of our team was now present and chatting idly as they got ready together. Bellamy and Monty marched down the ramp with someone draped over their shoulders and I sighed as understanding dawned over me. I stepped out of the way to allow them to pass and Bellamy separated himself to approach me instead.

“Hey. I checked in with Kane and mentioned that you were worried. He’s cleared us to take guns this time, so if we’re unlucky enough to come across Azgeda, we’ll be ready.” He replaced as he placed a comforting hand on my arm and I nodded slowly. A loud groan drew my attention and I glanced over to Monty, who was struggling to get Jasper into a manageable position.

“Jasper’s wrecked again, I see?” I commented bitterly and Bellamy simply shrugged, unwilling to discuss the issue whilst we were surrounded by people. I sighed in disappointment and decided to attempt to cheer him up. “Well, I was going to save this for later, but you look like you could use a pick me up now.” I explained as I pulled the book from inside my jacket and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” He asked as he took it from me and turned it over to view the cover with a stunned expression.

“It’s a peace offering.” I admitted, sliding my hands into my jacket pockets awkwardly and Bellamy glanced back up at me with a fond smile. I’d hoped to show that I was invested in getting us back on track following the recent tension and the appreciation in his eyes indicated that this gesture had accomplished this. He seemed perplexed by this gift and I suspected that he was not used to being doted upon. I resolved to change this in the future. “I didn’t think I’d be able to get the exact book that your mother read to you, but I knew that I wanted to get something you could de-stress with.” I elaborated in a small voice, staring at my feet to avoid his eyes and found myself feeling uncharacteristically insecure. Bellamy stowed the book away and stepped forward to cut my face in his hands, forcing me to view him.

“Thank you, Love. This is perfect.” He confirmed, studying my face with a sense of wonder and I sighed with relief. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll relax tonight if you join me. I’ll even read you to sleep.” He offered and I giggled at the idea of him reading to me.

“Deal.” I whispered and he leaned in to kiss my forehead gently, causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach. “Let’s get this run over with.” I groaned, as I reluctantly pulled away from him.

I turned to find Raven examining my work on the Rover, checking that it met her standards and rolled my eyes at the realisation that she still felt the need to do this. People scurried around me as we prepared to move out and I busied myself with packing the necessary supplies into the back. Miller arrived late with a lack of enthusiasm for duty, a frequent pattern of his recently, and I overheard him and Bellamy discussing the use of guns as I placed the last item into the vehicle.

I moved round to the side of the Rover to find Jasper leaning against the doors in an intoxicated slouch and rolled my eyes at the completely helpless state of him. It was already becoming tiring to find him in a noncoherent condition and I couldn’t fathom how Monty was dealing with it on a daily basis. Right on cue, Monty appeared to throw a bucket of water over him aggressively and I was momentarily proud that he had started to absorb my assertions that he was too gentle in the way that he dealt with Jasper.

“Sorry. Was that too cold?” Monty drawled as he viewed him with displeasure and Jasper glowered furiously in response. The others shifted awkwardly in the tension as they stared at each other, before Jasper grabbed Monty and threw him against the Rover with a furious yell. He gripped him by his shirt, holding him in a threatening manner whilst Monty stared back at him with a deeply hurt expression, his eyes wide in shock. The pain in Monty’s eyes spurred me into action and rushed forward to snatch Jasper’s hands out of place.

“Back off.” I growled, my teeth bared in anger as I stood beside them and protectively leaned around Monty, shielding him from any further attacks. Instead of reacting to my fiery attitude, Jasper simply turned slowly away from me with a far off gaze as if he’d completely forgotten what he was doing. Remaining close to Monty to ensure that he wasn’t awaiting a chance to ambush, I watched Bellamy intercept him with an unimpressed expression.

“No gun for you. Not until you’re sober.” He ordered, staring him down with a commanding intensity and I could recognise that his behaviour was beginning to tax on Bellamy too.

“Don’t want one.” Jasper slurred, barely managing to keep himself upright from his intoxication and he swung his arm up for a dramatic solute, slapping Bellamy across the face with the tail end of the gesture before he stumbled away. Bellamy paused for a moment, holding his head down in the position that he’d received the hit in and it was clear that he was struggling to maintain his composure. When he finally looked back up, I was amazed at how calm he had managed to appear and everyone waited for his instruction in the heavy silence.

“Let’s do this.” He announced, spurring the group into life as they all split to take their places in the vehicle and I shuffled over to him with uncertainty filling my movements.

“I don’t think we should take him with us this time.” I admitted quietly, glancing through the window with a heavy feeling of dread in my chest and Bellamy sighed with reluctance. “He’s a major risk. We can’t afford that when we’re getting so close to Azgeda.” I added, unwilling to divulge that I also felt there should be a consequence for his unreliability. We’d tried almost every other approach to dealing with Jasper’s lasting breakdown and I was running out of ideas.

“Monty begged me to take him.” Bellamy mumbled and I glanced up at him with a pang of guilt. “If he hadn’t, I’d have dragged his ass out of the Rover by now.” He confirmed and I nodded solemnly in understanding. “We’ll keep an eye on him together. Come on.” He offered, smiling encouragingly at me before he moved toward the back door, but I reached out to halt him.

“Wait.” I blurted, gripping his arm tightly and he studied me with concern. I stared up at him with an overwhelming sense of foreboding and couldn’t keep myself from taking his face into my hands. “No risks out there. We all come back safe.” I asserted, caressing his jawline with my hands trembling and he met my eyes with confusion. After a few beats, he nodded slowly in agreement and I pulled him in for a quick kiss in the hope that it would provide me with the strength that I need to face today. We walked to the back door hand in hand and sat next to each other on the bench.

“You two are so cute. Makes me sick.” Raven commented from the driver's seat and I caught a sly smile in the rear view mirror. It was obvious that she had been watching us from her seat in the wing mirrors as we shared our moment and I had to chuckle at her deeply ingrained nosiness.

“Couple of murderers. Super adorable. No wonder you get on so well with Monty.” Jasper spat from the passenger seat and as Monty surged forward to grab him, Bellamy quickly reached out to stop him.

“Can it, Jasper.” I groaned, frustration clear in my voice and he glanced over his shoulder with an antagonising expression.

“What, Indigo? You don’t want to get into the shocking amount of people that you’ve killed?” He drawled as he stared at me with unfocused eyes and I clenched my jaw in annoyance. 

“Enough!” Bellamy growled with an aggression that he quickly had to reign in as the others flinched in surprise. “Raven. Take us out.” He added, peeking over at me to calm himself and I smiled back in encouragement. 

Raven began the sequence of preparing the Rover to drive and a variety of sounds announced it’s surge into life. I surveyed the apprehensive faces that surrounded me with a sigh and felt regretful that there was such a heavy atmosphere between us all recently. The days of laughter and relief seemed years away and I couldn’t help a melancholy feeling as I wished for those simpler times to return. The hangar doors creaked open and barely seconds later Octavia galloped into view, blocking our exit with her horse.

“Guess we found her.” Miller remarked with amusement and I noticed a fond smile spread across Bellamy’s lips at the sight of her. Although she still insisted on travelling by horse, I was glad that she would be joining us and knew that I would need as much backup as possible if we were to encounter Azgeda.

“Try and keep up!” She called tauntingly and Raven’s expression grew devious at the challenge. I knew that Octavia would be disappointed that I hadn’t joined her on horseback, but I felt that it was important to be able to keep an eye on Jasper and to support Bellamy in dealing with him.

The vehicle lurched forward as Raven sped outside and not for the first time I questioned whether allowing her to drive was a wise idea. Though I was glad that the adjustments made to the Rover allowed her the morale boost of being behind the wheel, I didn’t feel particularly safe with the erratic way that she navigated the dirt roads alongside Octavia. Jasper began to sing along to the iPod that he had plugged himself into in the front seat and Monty promptly leaned forward to remove his earphones.

“No way.” He commented, as he tilted his head to view him and Jasper rolled his eyes in annoyance. “If you’re gonna ride shotgun, you can’t just disappear.” He argued, before leaning back into his seat and fixing us with a tired face. I smiled at him sympathetically, offering my silent support and instead of gracefully accepting Monty’s expression, Jasper plugged the music into the Rover speakers. Monty shot an arm out to grab the device in annoyance, but Bellamy quickly caught him in motion. 

“Hey. It’s okay.” He offered in a calm voice that seemed to relax Monty’s frazzled nerves too, before glancing over at Jasper sharply. “It’s a long ride.” He muttered and I could tell that he was already dreading how we would cope with him throughout this outing as much as I was. 

Monty relaxed back into his seat and the tense silence fell upon us all again. The melody that Jasper had chosen began to ramp up and filled with space with heavy beats that I wasn’t particularly disapproving of. It was a song that I’d listened to years ago with my father, who’d introduced me to all varieties of punk as he considered it the spirit of rebellion and Miller was the first to cave to the effect of it, drumming in thin air enthusiastically. Monty pinched his brows as the responsibility of managing Jasper weighed down on him and the troubled drunk in question began singing from his seat. Bellamy watched him with a deep disbelief, causing me to chuckle under my breath before he addressed a particularly flirtatious lyric at Raven and I raised a brow in surprise.

“But I look at your pants and I need a kiss.”

Somehow, this seemed to encourage out the playful side of her that had been mostly absent recently and Raven joined him in singing, with Miller closely behind her, now drumming along to the beat with vigour. The tension around us rapidly disintegrated, feeling strangely nostalgic as Monty reluctantly sang along and I couldn’t prevent a smile from taking over my expression.

“But something wont let me make love to you.” I crooned as I finally caved and turned to Bellamy with a cheeky wink, at the exact same moment that Miller leaned on Monty’s shoulder, shaking his arm playfully. Bellamy shook his head as he chuckled at the strange scene unfolding around him. The more than I sang at him, the more he seemed as if he wanted to disappear into the side of the Rover to escape.

“Play with me!” I yelled over the song, disappointed that he was the last person still remaining well behaved and he snorted with laughter, before leaning close to me.

“I’ll play with you later.” He whispered in a deep voice as his hot breath tickled my ear and I pushed him away with a gasp.

Before he could say anything else inappropriate, Jasper turned to face us and climbed out of his seat into the back of the Rover. He was still shouting the lyrics to the song and leaned in close to Bellamy in an effort to break his composure. Instead, Bellamy simply turned his face away, as if hoping that if he just didn’t acknowledge him, he might go away. 

In a way, his wish was granted as Jasper stuck his head out of the hatch in the roof and we could hear his wild screams of celebration even over the blaring of the stereo. Bellamy and I shook our heads at each other with amused smiles and I couldn’t help feeling immensely grateful for this moment. Everyone around me was smiling and enjoying themselves in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long while, even Jasper and I treasured every second of it. The party atmosphere was quickly interrupted as something beeped aggressively from the front and Raven shut the music off to focus on a small screen that was loosely attached to the dashboard.

“Tracking beacon from the Ark!” Monty announced as he rushed into the passenger seat and the vehicle skidded to a stop. 

“Hey. That was the best part.” Jasper sulked as he slid back into a seat from his windswept adventure and I rolled my eyes at his ruined priorities.

“Who is that?” Bellamy quizzed as he shifted closer to the front seats and I did the same, glancing between Raven and Monty with interest.

“Farm station.” Monty confirmed and my stomach immediately flipped as I remembered that this was where both Jasper and Monty were from. I couldn’t help feeling hopeful for them already and couldn’t imagine how they must be feeling. Immediately, it occurred to me how stabilising it could be for Jasper if we could recover his parents and prayed with every ounce of my spirit for Earth to give us just one bit of good luck.

“After four months...how?” Miller piped up in a small, uncertain voice and I shared his confusion.

“We’ll find out. Where are they?” Bellamy immediately enquired and before I could question whether searching for them without backup was wise, the back door of the Rover swung open to reveal Octavia.

“Don’t tell me I missed the party.” She drawled, her face filled with disdain and I felt immediately uncomfortable under her judgement.

“ _Mostly the drunk being a pain, honestly_.” I groaned, which was the truth, even if I had thoroughly enjoyed our few minutes of carefree fun. 

“ _Nothing new there_.” She replied with a wry smile and I relaxed at the sight of it.

“Sector 8.” Monty confirmed as he turned to face us with wide, nervous eyes and I gulped immediately.

“That’s Ice Nation.” Miller commented bitterly and as our eyes met, I could tell that he was one of the few people who had actually listened to my warnings about how dangerous they were.

“What about it?” Octavia questioned, staring directly at Monty with a guarded demeanour and I was glad that she was here to support me with this risky situation. 

“Protocol says to go home. Let the Chancellor decide what to do next.” Raven stated in a remarkably out of character, reasonable answer and I glanced over at her with a brow raised in suspicion.

“Screw protocol.” Bellamy declared and I whipped my attention to him with dread pooling in my chest.

“Bellamy, this is Ice Nation we’re talking about. Crossing into their territory, especially without backup, is a bad idea.” I argued, glancing at him with terror filling my features and he viewed me with a mixture of annoyance and understanding.

“I know your views on them, Inds. But the Chancellor’s not from Farm Station. Monty and Jasper are. So is Miller’s boyfriend” He explained and I cringed at this revelation, realising that we had more people who would be determined to follow this in the Rover than I had first thought. “It’s your call.” He added as he glanced between them with bated breath. 

“Let’s do this.” Monty was the first to answer and though I was fearful, I could completely understand his need to find his family. Both Bellamy and I turned toward Miller, silently asking for an answer and I knew that his vote would decide our course of action. 

“You have to ask?” He replied confidently and I peeked at Jasper, who was staring at the floor, appearing to seem as invisible as possible. I sighed in disappointment and found myself missing the times when I could depend on him to back me up. Raven smiled from the front seat and Bellamy turned to Octavia with a determined expression. 

“Try to keep up.” He drawled tauntingly and she tilted her head at him with attitude, before returning her attention to me.

“ _This will go badly_.” She muttered in Trig and I nodded slowly in response.

“ _Agreed. Be ready for anything_.” I acknowledged, before she slammed the doors closed to return to her horse. Now that events had turned, I found myself wishing that I had bought my horse after all and hoped that we would still be able to maintain control of the situation. 

The Rover took off at a hurried speed and I clung to the seat for stability. Bellamy noticed my nervous behaviour and placed a hand on my thigh to comfort me, but it failed to take effect. My gut feeling was that this decision was a mistake and I remembered Arlo’s clear warnings about the dangers of ever entering Azgeda territory. Practically everyone that I loved was cramped into the vehicle that was now hurtling toward the border and I tried not to panic as I considered all of the ways that this could go wrong.

When we finally slowed to a stop, I stepped out to find that Octavia had already tied her horse out of sight and now remained close to my side as we both expected trouble at any moment.

“These woods must be the border.” Bellamy announced, appearing at my other side protectively and I kept my eyes focused ahead.

“They are.” I confirmed in a stern voice as I recalled the fear inducing lesson that Arlo had given me about identifying the lands and knowing sectors that I should never risk entering. Azgeda was always at the top of that list and every step I took toward it felt like a betrayal.

“So, where’s all the ice?” Jasper slurred, wandering around carelessly behind us as if he had no concept of the danger that we were in and I noticed that he was still not even carrying a weapon.

“Much further north. Azgeda stretches for a thousand miles.” Octavia piped up to educate them, before fixing me with a significant look. We both knew the risks that we were taking by doing this and I could tell that we shared the hope that we wouldn’t have to venture far into their lands. The further that we went, the lower our chances were of ever surviving.

“Good thing we only have to go two hundred metres.” Monty announced in a frantic voice, rushing up to us with his focus blindly set on the screen from the dash of the car and Bellamy had to throw his arm out to keep him pushing past us in his enthusiasm.

“Slow down. He instructed, his deep voice pulling Monty back into the present as he dropped back to address him. “Remember, rules of engagement are non lethal force.” He confirmed as Octavia and I continued ahead, forming the first barrier of defence which seemed most suitable considering our further knowledge of the culture we were dealing with. “Tight formation on my command.” He added, subtly ordering us to stay near him and we paused to both turn back to face him with an unimpressed expression in perfect sync, before Raven appeared at his side. “Raven, you stay in the Rover.” He commanded, glancing at her with frustration and she rolled her eyes at him with the same attitude as Octavia and I.

“Yeah, right.” She ground and I couldn’t help a slight smirk at our shared refusal to be treated like delicate women, despite my own nervousness around Raven’s safety.

“We need every gun we’ve got.” Octavia asserted, fixing Bellamy with an insistent glare before she turned back to me. “ _If this goes bad, you and I will cut them down whilst the others cover us with guns. We need to be in and out before any reinforcements arrive._ ” She instructed and I nodded in agreement.

“ _If reinforcements come, we’re all dead_.” I confirmed nervously and she placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“ _Daun ste pleni_ .” ⸢  _That is enough_ ⸥ Bellamy ordered as Octavia’s eyes widened at his use of Trig. I smiled proudly at him, although I knew that he wouldn’t have understood our conversation and was merely trying to return our attention to the task at hand.

“They’re coming.” Monty announced urgently and we all tensed at his words as he stared at the screen. “120 meters. 110.” He took an excited step forward, before Bellamy pushed him back and raised his gun protectively. “They’re our people. What are you doing?” Monty hissed with aggravation and Bellamy glanced back at him with his brows furrowed.

“We **hope** they’re our people.” He argued and Octavia and I wasted in no time in unsheathing our blades. “On my command.” Bellamy stated, setting the others into action as Raven and Miller took positions in the trees either side of us and Monty attached the screen to his hop so that he could hold up his gun instead. 

The sounds of horses neighing carried in the distance, causing my stomach to flip with nerves and barely a few moments later, the riders came into view. I could recognise their armour even from a distance and as they neared, their bright white faces inspired a deep feeling of terror in my stomach.

“Ice nation?” Bellamy asked with wide eyes, as if finally realising the risks that we were taking in being here and I gulped in answer.

“Yes. White war paint.” Octavia revealed quietly and I watched them closing in on us with my heart hammering in my ears. 

“We’re fucked.” I hissed as Octavia met my eyes and we both frantically attempted to form a plan. “ _Let’s be respectful. We may be able to talk our way out of this_.” I whispered urgently and she gave a subtle nod in agreement. She quickly returned her blade to it’s sheath and I stowed my dagger away too.

“Stay calm.” Octavia instructed the others, before she held her hands up in surrender and I followed suit, ensuring that I remained close to her side as she took a few cautious steps forward.

“ _Who are you?_ ” The closest rider called out aggressively, their Trig sharper than I was used to and I peeked at Octavia to check which one of us would answer. She lowered her arms now that we had indicated our peaceful intent and I was glad to be able to keep my hands closer to the handle of my dagger, ready to grab it at any moment that things took a turn for the worse.

“ _Skaikru. Looking for our people_.” Octavia replied assertively, ensuring that she was clear that although we were willing to cooperate, we had no intention of being trodden over.

“ _Looking for Wanheda_.” The other ride announced, and Octavia and I glanced at each other in confusion. I continued to appeal to them whilst Octavia translated for the others.

“ _We are no threat. We only ask for permission to enter your lands to recover those we lost in our arrival. We will leave as soon as we have completed our task_.” I explained in an even tone and the riders seemed surprised by my ability to speak in their dialect. Octavia at least appeared somewhat as one of them, with her hair still neatly plaited back, but since changing back into my original clothes I was unable to command the same respect amongst grounders as before and I began to wish that I’d stayed in the clothing that Arlo had given me. 

“Who’s Wanheda?” I heard Bellamy ask as the lead rides began to dismount his horse and noticed Octavia staring intensely at me from my side.

“I don’t know.” She grumbled in frustration and I took a moment to meet her eyes. “Any ideas, Indie?” She investigated and I shook my head regretfully. I had no recollection or Arlo ever mentioning this name or title, and it seemed that Indra hadn’t educated her on it either. The lead rider crept closer to us and I gulped as I tried to think of a way to get us out of this mess.

“The light. That’s the beacon.” Monty muttered from behind and my gaze fell onto the flashing item on the riders belt. There was no way we could easily take this and I failed to imagine anything that we could trade for this item that he wore as a trophy. I realised with a crushing clarity that this did not bode well for the chances of those from Farm Station.

“Hey! Get back here!” Bellamy’s sharp voice startled me and before I could even turn back to investigate what was happening, the riders raised their bows threateningly. I held my hands up in an effort to calm the situation and just missed the opportunity to catch Jasper as he stumbled past. Everyone called out individually to him in protest and Octavia barely managed to grasp the back of his bulletproof vest, but was unable to stop him from advancing forward.

“It’s okay. I got this.” He slurred as he stumbled toward the ice nation warriors and my heart leapt into my throat as it took all my self control to remain on the spot.

“Tell them we observe the Commander's truce. Do it now.” Bellamy ordered with panic flooding his voice and Octavia obediently repeated the message. The men relaxed their bows slightly at these words, but as Jasper continued to approach their leader, he stared down at him with a furious scowl. As if completely unphased by the chaos around him, Jasper snatched the beacon from his belt.

“This belongs to us.” He announced, closing in on the leaders face and then promptly turned on the spot to return to us. He barely managed a single step before he was grabbed by his vest and held with a knife to his throat.

“ _Where’s Wanheda?_ ” The leader growled, his blade already pressing into Jasper’s throat and I could barely catch my breath through the terror that pulsed through my body. Octavia held her hands out in an effort to calm things, but our group had already raised their guns and the bows of the enemy were pointing at us again.

“ _Breik em au_ !” ⸢  _Let him go_ ⸥ Bellamy yelled, holding his gun tightly and I was relieved that I had managed to teach him some limited Trig now, as the more of us that addressed them appropriately, the more we seemed like allies.

“ _We don’t know who that is!_ ” Octavia argued, even her voice raising in stress and I felt my heartbeat pounding as I stared as Jasper. “ _Please. We can help each other._ ” She offered in an attempt to de-escalate, but with Jasper in such a vulnerable position, I lost my patience with peaceful bargaining.

“ _This boy is an idiot, as you’ve seen, but very important. He is the Chancellor’s son. We had an agreed ceasefire with your Heda. If you kill him, you will be breaking that and our leader will bring wrath down upon you, with the entire coalition in support. Make the right choice_.” I yelled in an aggressive manner, lying through my teeth in the hope that I could use my knowledge of their politics to intimidate them. For a moment, it seemed as if they would release him, until a smug smile spread across Jasper’s lips and a wave of nausea crashed over me. The leader of the riders quickly noticed this and I felt a ripple of concern spread through our group, as they all reacted in various states of shock to his insane behaviour. I could hardly believe what I was seeing and my heart broke into a million pieces as I realised just how bad his mental state had become.

“ _You think this is funny?_ ” His captor growled in fury and this small act of perceived disrespect pushed him over the edge of reason. He began to cut into Jasper’s throat and without a moment of hesitation, I whipped out my knife.

“No!” I screamed as I launched the dagger with all of my might and it cut through the air like a missile, until the blade planted itself deeply into the leader's face. Fortunately, Bellamy was quick to cover me, shooting down the rider whose bow was pointed at my face and the others began firing sporadically in every direction. 

“Hold your fire!” Bellamy called, frantically trying to keep anyone from being caught in the crossfire as panicked shots filled the air and Jasper stood frozen to the spot in a daze, as the grounder that had been holding him hostage fell to the dirt behind him.

“Jasper, get down!” Octavia cried, prompting him to drop without question and she spun as she threw her machete straight at the chest of the remaining rider. Before any of us could move a muscle, or take a single breath of relief, the radio crackled loudly from our vehicle.

“Rover one, come in. Repeat. Rover one, come in now.”

“What now?” Bellamy groaned as he rushed over to answer it and Octavia and I both rushed over to Jasper.

“I had him.” Jasper mumbled in a pathetic attempt to defend his insane actions and I could barely contain my temper as we hauled him to his feet. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” Miller called over as he and Raven parted ways to approach different parts of the rover.

“We got the beacon, didn’t we?” Jasper wheezed as he clutched at the wound on his neck and I rolled my eyes in frustration at his ridiculous reasoning.

“Yeah. But where did they get it?” Monty argued, his disappointment in this outcome evident in his face and I made a mental reminder to check on him once things had calmed down.

“He needs to get to medical.” Octavia instructed as we dragged him over to the Rover and leant him on the side for stability. Miller jogged to meet us with a med kit from inside and Octavia held our patient in place whilst I got to work bandaging him as best I could.

“I swear to god, Jasper. If I wasn’t so glad that you didn’t just die, I’d kill you myself.” I scolded as I wrapped bandages as tightly around his neck as I could without choking him, despite feeling as if I easily could at this moment. My hands shook from a mixture of terror and fury as I worked and I struggled not to be distracted by Bellamy shouting into the radio about whatever event had gone wrong now.

“Take him home!” I almost jumped out of my skin as Bellamy stormed around the front of the Rover and bellowed toward Jasper with a temper that I’d never before seen from him.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” Jasper groaned as he leaned over to face him and I slapped his cheek gently to stop him from fidgeting whilst I was attempting to stop the bleeding, but also to burn off some of my frustration with him. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to continue making snide comments after the destruction that he had just caused and didn’t have the mental capacity to pull Bellamy off him on top of everything else that I was dealing with.

“Miller! Get one of the horses for Indie!” Bellamy barked and Miller rushed off to complete his task, clearly not wanting to worsen Bellamy’s already aggressive attitude. “Octavia! Raven can’t ride, so you’ll need to take her on the back. Inds, can you take that idiot with you? You’re our best first aider.” He enquired, softening his voice as he addressed me and I nodded at him nervously.

“He’s losing a lot of blood. It’ll be a challenge to keep the pressure up and ride, but it’s that or he bleeds to death here, so….you can bet your ass I’ll get him to Abby.” I answered firmly as Miller returned with a horse and Octavia began helping me to push Jasper’s already weakening form up into place.

“Miller. Monty. You’re with me.” Bellamy ordered and the boys wasted no time in returning to the Rover. He took a step to follow them, but I caught his arm to pull him back.

“Bel. Keep your head, no reckless decisions. I can’t take any more injuries today.” I asserted as I clung to his arm and he flashed me a tender smile that immediately calmed me.

“You just worry about getting home safe and I’ll do the same.” He muttered under his breath and placed a rushed kiss on my cheek, before tearing himself out of my grip to stomp to the Rover.

I hopped onto the horse with Jasper clinging to me from behind and Octavia tied him to me as a safety precaution that we hoped would not be necessary. He looped an arm around my waist and his chin came to rest on my shoulder, whilst his other hand remained gripping the wound tightly as instructed. Just as we finished preparing for the ride back to Arkadia, I watched the Rover disappear into the distance and mentally made a little prayer for the safe return of those inside.


	5. 𝐸𝑦𝑒 𝑂𝑓 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ:** Wᴀɴʜᴇᴅᴀ: Pᴀʀᴛ Oɴᴇ

The ride home was tense and silent, as we pushed the horses to their limits and I kept prompting Jasper to ensure that he remained conscious. It was difficult to keep my mind from wandering in the time that our journey took and I couldn’t help fretting over what kind of threat Bellamy and the boys could have been pulled into now. 

As the gates came into view, I slapped the reins one last time, desperate to reach Abby whilst Jasper remained clinging to me and was unreliably frustrated to find them still closed as we arrived.

“Open the gates!” Raven yelled from the horse barely seconds ahead of me and I could hear the gears of the mechanism clanking.

“We told them to be ready for us! We don’t have the time for this.” I growled, fidgeting impatiently on the horse and I felt Jasper begin to slide to one side, as if he were about to fall. I leaned around just in time to catch him and struggled to reposition him with my hands behind my back. 

“Hold on! We’re almost there. Just a few minutes longer, Jasper. Please.” I bargained, willing him to fight the exhaustion that I knew his blood loss would be causing and he groaned in return. The moment that there was a large enough gap to fit through, I rushed inside with the girls close on my tail and Octavia immediately hopped off her horse to untie Jasper.

“Jasper’s hurt. What took you so long?!” Octavia yelled furiously as she supported him to the ground with some strain and I quickly slid down to assist. Together, we managed to keep him upright for long enough to lean him against the fence for stability and I almost burst into tears in relief as I noticed Abby and Jackson running over to meet us. Abby wasted no time in peeling back the shoddy bandaging that I had managed to wrap around Jasper’s neck to examine the damage and grimaced at the wound beneath it.

“Oh! What happened?” She breathed, her face growing pale at the sight of the depth of the injury and Octavia and I glanced at each other awkwardly, silently attempting to decide who would explain. Abby tapped her foot impatiently as she fixed us with a firm stare and Octavia cleared her throat to take responsibility for relaying events.

“Ice Nation.” She answered quietly and Abby’s brows shot up in shock at the mention of them. The doctor returned her gaze to Jasper’s neck attentively and I furrowed my brows at Octavia in accusation. I had expected her to provide a full report, or at least some minimal details on Jaspers outrageous behaviour today, but instead she simply shook her head at me subtly. Though I could understand that this wasn’t the best time for it, I was tired of covering up the issues that he caused and could easily have launched into a full rundown of the events of the day, with recommendations on possible consequences for the incredible risks that were taken. Before I had the chance, Jackson rushed to Abby’s side and she began handing Jasper over to him.

“Get him to Medical.” She instructed, holding his throat with a concerned grip and Jackson wrapped one arm over his shoulder to steady him. 

“I got you. Keep pressure on it.” He advised nervously, before flashing me a reassuring smile as he guided him away and I felt comforted by knowing that Jasper was in safe hands. Although I was immeasurably angry with him for his careless choices, my heart ached at the sight of him in such a dangerous condition and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fully calm myself down until Jackson or Abby told me that he would be fine. Abby approached me with a hint of hope in her eyes and I prepared myself for the question that I knew was coming. 

“Clarke?” She asked in a small, hopeful voice and I felt guilt crushing my chest. Though I’d known what was coming, it was still challenging to hear and I gulped as I prepared myself to answer.

“I’m sorry. Not today.” I revealed in a gentle tone and I watched as her face fell in disappointment. It had become a painful routine for her to ask every time that we returned home whether we’d made any headway in finding Clarke and though I understood her need to check, I hated the way that delivering the bad news each time made me feel. 

“We’ll find her, Abby. Eventually, we will.” I added encouragingly, placing a hand on her arm and she managed a strained smile in response. In truth, I wasn’t sure that we would be able to deliver on this promise to seek out her missing daughter. Clarke was unlikely to allow us to seek her out unless she was ready to be found, but I’d come to care for Abby and that meant that if there was anything that I could do for her, I would. Bellamy seemed similarly affected by her desperation to find her daughter and I was beginning to struggle to tell whether his determination to complete this mission was truly for Abby, or for his own peace of mind. There was still a niggling doubt in the back of my mind that he was hiding something from me and his comment about guilt in our recent argument continued to trouble me.

“ _Os oukou._ ” _[_ _Nice jacket_ _]_ Octavia’s sharp voice pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to face her with confusion. I followed her line of sight to Lincoln, who was wearing the guard jacket that Bellamy had gifted him this morning and grimaced at his choice. I hadn’t even noticed him approaching amid the chaos and as I brought my gaze back to Octavia, I realised that she wore a hurt expression, as if she’d been deeply betrayed. She turned away from Lincoln without another word and I flashed him a sympathetic smile. 

“You want me to take them?” She called over to Raven as she grasped the reins of her horse and it was clear from the sharpness of her movements that she had no intention of discussing her feelings at the moment. I sighed as I racked my mind for a way to keep the peace between the couple and whilst I struggled to produce any ideas, Raven shook her head hastily in response to Octavia’s offer of help.

“It’s okay. I’ll-I’ll bring her in.” Raven grumbled in a delicate but determined voice and my focus remained closely on Octavia as I tried to catch her arm before she could storm away.

“ _Oktaivia, hod op_ .” _[_ _Octavia, wait_ _]_ I blurted in an attempt to prevent her from leaving things unspoken, but she pulled her arm quickly from my reach to march the horse back to the stable and I glanced back at Lincoln with a shrug. Though I wanted to help, I had to acknowledge that their relationship wasn’t mine to maintain and I had already given my advice this morning, which he had clearly chosen to ignore.

“You can’t get down. Can you?” 

I jumped at Abby’s words, whipping away from watching Octavia’s back as she stalked toward the stable and thinned my eyes at Raven just in time to find her subtly shaking her head. As she confirmed her dilemma, I was almost crushed under the weight of my shame for not noticing and wasted no time in joining Abby in assisting her to the ground. She groaned as her leg bent up in an unnatural angle from the restriction to her flexibility caused by her brace and I knew that Abby had noticed it too. 

“Thanks.” She muttered bitterly, hardly able to get the word out through her will to be independent and I could hardly contain the sympathy that filled my face. I knew that she would be furious if she noticed it, but I had been deeply worried about her health for months and I couldn’t bury it no longer.

“Raven-”

“I’m good.” She asserted in a gritty tone, cutting off Abby’s worried speech before she could even get past her name and I felt a pang in my chest as she turned to take the horse stubbornly. After studying her closely for months, I could recognise that there was a more significant limp to her gait now that there had been when we were first reunited and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Abby examining her movements. I was torn between all of my loved ones, as they rapidly spiralled all around me, but before I could make a decision on who to follow, Abby turned to face me with a scrutinising look and I gulped under the intensity of her stare. 

“She’s in pain. Isn’t she?” She interrogated, studying me with a perceptiveness that I knew was impossible to escape and I felt conflicted between my loyalty for Raven and my commitment to her best interests. After chewing my lip in silent deliberation for a few moments, I sighed thoughtfully.

“Yes. For at least a few weeks now, but I suspect that it’s closer to a month or two.” I confessed reluctantly and Abby cursed under her breath. 

“That girl is too stubborn for her own good.” She muttered and I nodded in agreement, a fond smile spreading across my lips at the accuracy of her statement. Abby placed her hands on her hips in frustration and I couldn’t help sympathising for her predicament. “Well, I suppose I’d better help Jackson with my next difficult patient.” She sighed as she stepped toward the Ark entrance and I fell into step beside her without a second thought. 

“Can I join you?” The question fell from my mouth before I had even considered it and she glanced over at me in confusion. “Jasper might be an ass, but he’s family. I’d feel better being nearby. I promise that I’ll stay out of your way.” I rambled, wringing my hands together nervously and Abby easily noticed my distress. 

With the remainder of our squad out of camp and heading into the unknown, paired with the struggles of the rest of my family, I was particularly on edge. I could feel anxiety seeping into every one of my movements and Abby smiled sympathetically as she nodded at me. I knew she understood that Bellamy was my stabilising element and that without him, I was struggling to keep myself from crumbling under the stress.

She paused on the spot to take my hand in hers and I widened my eyes at the sudden contact.

“Bellamy will be fine. He’s a very capable young man and he’s with Marcus. They’ll come home. You just wait and see.” She advised soothingly and I smiled at her in appreciation. I had to remind myself of the new techniques that I’d learned from Arlo and gave my independent nature a much needed kickstart. “Now, as long as you promise not to make things any more difficult than they undoubtedly will be already, you can stay with me whilst I get your other troublemaker patched up.” She commented playfully and I remained on her heels as we navigated our way to medical. 

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

Abby relegated me to the waiting area after I kept pacing around the cubicle and instead of relaxing, I’d begun circling a dent into the flooring here. The patients that were waiting to be seen were also becoming frustrated with my nervous behaviour and I avoided meeting their eyes, feeling unable to leave the unit until I could be assured that Jasper was safe.

I’d lost track of how many times Jackson had given me a judgemental look for my continued presence as he called through the next patients and when he appeared in the cramped space again, he finally cracked a smile.

“Indigo? You’re next.” He announced with an exasperated sigh and though my brows furrowed with confusion, I followed him obediently. I stepped into an empty cubicle and my stomach lurched in dread, whipping around to face Jackson with my hands trembling. “If you’re going to insist on staying, you may as well let me change your implant whilst you’re here.” He explained with an air of efficiency and I released a breath that I didn’t even realise I had been holding. For a few heart-breaking moments, I feared that he was about to deliver news that would change my life forever and I could hardly even process his words through my relief. “It’s been about three months since Abby administered it. You must be due a replacement anyway.” He added as he began preparing supplies and I rolled my eyes at his eagerness. Though I liked Jackson, everytime that I saw him seemed to result in some kind of procedure or another, even if I hadn’t sought him out myself.

“You know, it feels like every time that I see you, you want to stab me with a needle. How come we never just hang out?” I teased with a wry smile and he shook his head at me with a chuckle. He gestured for me to sit on the gurney in the centre of the room and I shuffled awkwardly on the spot. “Come on, Jackson. I hate having these things.” I groaned, fidgeting further away from him in apprehension and he paused in the middle of his preparations to glance up at me with amusement.

“Believe me. You’ll hate having a baby on Earth much more, especially considering the state that this planet is in.” He stated in a manner that seemed as if he had used this excuse to convince many other young people and I sighed, remaining stubbornly stood up. “That risk is particularly high considering how much you and Bellamy are at it. From what I’ve heard-”

“Okay!” I blurted, waving my hands manically to halt him as my face glowed gloriously red and my skin could almost blend in with my hair. “Okay.” I mumbled as I slid into the seat and Jackson smiled smugly at me. It was a low blow, even if completely effective and I despised knowing that there was still gossip circulating around camp about Bellamy and I. By now, I would’ve expected people to have lost interest in our relationship, but I suspected that my absence had refuelled the curiosity of many girls in camp who were all too keen to replace me.

“It’s impossible to live in this camp and not know who’s involved with each other. Although, you two do tend to be the most commonly discussed pairing.” Jackson remarked with a barely contained devious attitude and I was amazed at his ability to gossip and work at the same time. After my many invasive conversations with Monty, I was beginning to realise that it was always the quiet ones who traded information like fishwives and I could hardly withstand another meddling man in my business.

“It’s hard not to draw attention when you’re involved with someone who has a dedicated fan club who are all praying for your downfall.” I commented bitterly, tired of the speculation and judgement that seemed to follow me everywhere, and Jackson quirked a brow at me. “I’m honestly just waiting for the day that one of these bitches tries to take me out.” I added, scrunching my nose up playfully and Jackson cackled in delight at my cattiness.

“Well. Bellamy’s not the only one with a waiting list, you know.” He divulged with mischief glittering in his eyes and I stared at him in utter disbelief, waiting for the punchline. When he didn’t deliver one, I spluttered at the ridiculousness of the thought and couldn’t help feeling as if I were being lured into some kind of trap. 

“Oh, please! Who the hell is waiting around for me?! Other than maybe some of the old men who’d just love any young bit of stuff desperate enough to take them.” I remarked dismissively and Jackson frowned at my words. “I’m more likely to have a queue of people waiting to kick the shit out of me for running my mouth than anything else.” I added with a raw insecurity that I hadn’t meant to reveal and Jackson placed down his tools to fix me with a serious, offended stare.

“You are a beautiful woman, Indigo. I won’t stand here whilst you berate yourself. Bellamy is very lucky to have you. He’d better realise that.” He asserted, maintaining a suffocating eye contact the entire time and I squirmed in discomfort at his compliment. Seeming content that he’d shared his thoughts, he resumed his work and I kept my gaze trained on my hands. “Besides, I happen to know that there are several others who would be pleased to take you off his hands if he doesn’t.” He added with a cheeky wink and my gaze shot back up to him with shock. At this point, I was unsure if he was simply attempting to embarrass me in order to distract me from the squeamish task of changing my implant, or if he was genuinely being truthful, and I was unsure if I actually wanted to know either way.

“You’re so full of crap.” I grumbled, fidgeting in place and he slapped my knee gently to scold me for moving whilst he tried to work. 

“I’m absolutely not, but I’m afraid that I can’t name any names. I’m not the type to kiss and tell.” He remarked in a low voice and I chuckled, shaking my head at him to indicate that I didn’t believe his excuses. A few moments of silence passed whilst he finished up the task and placed down the equipment. “All I can say is that one of them shares your charming hair colour.” He hinted and I felt my stomach flip at this clue. Monroe’s nervous face filled my mind, smiling at me shyly and I felt a rosy blush spread across my cheeks. “You’re all done. I’m just going to grab a dressing from the supply cupboard. Stay there.” He instructed, before rushing from the room and leaving me to obsess over the new information.

The more that I considered what Jackson had told me, the more sense it made for him to have been referring to Monroe and I was intensely uncomfortable with this knowledge. I knew that the next time I saw the girl would likely be unbearably awkward as a result and I resolved not to mention this to anyone else, unwilling to fuel the rumour mill any further. 

There was a commotion from outside and I waited obediently for a few moments, before Jackson’s voice made my heart skip a beat.

“Jasper, wait!”

I shot to my feet and although every ounce of my body wished to run out to investigate, I wobbled on the spot with lightheaded-ness. The very minor procedure had caused my legs to shake and I scolded myself for being so sensitive. After all of the blood and wounds that I had seen down here, it was ridiculous to get this sick over a simple implant and by the time that my vision cleared enough for me to move, Jackson entered the cubicle in a fluster.

“Oh, not you too. Does anyone here listen to me?” He muttered, attempting to usher me back to the gurney but I held my ground sternly. “Alright. Let me just pop this on before you go bulldozing out there.” He conceded, busying himself with placing the dressing on my upper arm and I tapped my foot impatiently. “He’s already left anyway. Abby made him promise to come back in the morning. I should really check your ribs too before you go.” He informed, but the moment that he finished pressing the adhesive into place I tore out into the hall. Unfortunately, he was right that I had missed Jasper and instead I stumbled into a rather tense conversation between Raven and Abby.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy being Chancellor and doctor to avoid your own pain, you’d realise that you suck at both jobs.” Raven spat as I emerged and Abby’s expression fell to one of hurt, as she was lost for any words to use in response. I paused awkwardly just out of their sight and though I felt guilty for eavesdropping, I wanted to check whether Raven would finally confide in her about the medical needs that she was currently burying. Without warning, she glanced to her side to notice me waiting for Abby and adjusted the bag on her shoulder with aggravation. “Good talk.” She drawled, before storming away and leaving Abby staring into the distance solemnly. I cleared my throat to make her aware of my presence and she quickly attempted to compose herself, before gesturing to me to approach.

“Jasper will need to attend a check-up in the morning. Think you can make sure that he comes?” She asked and I nodded back vigorously. “Good. Provided he doesn’t get an infection, he should make a full recovery.” She explained hurriedly, as if attempting to rush me away and I smiled at her sympathetically.

“I know that it’s hard, but try not to take it personally. She attacks everyone nowadays. Admitting weakness is a struggle for her, you know?” I advised , ensuring that I smiled at her supportively and as the words left my mouth, I realised that I was able to understand Raven so well because of our similarly poor methods of managing our problems. “And you don’t suck. I’m proud of the changes you’ve made to how we do things. You add some much needed compassion to the Chancellor’s role. You’re just...overworked. Let me know if I can do anything to help.” I added soothingly and was glad when her shoulders dropped some of the tension caused by the dual pronged attack of Raven and Jasper.

It took awhile for me to track Raven when I finally left the unit, checking all of her usual haunts with no success and I was about to resort to asking Gina when I noticed her heading into a backroom of engineering. I promptly followed her inside and flinched as she began noisily unpacking tools. I cleared my throat as I entered and she turned to roll her eyes over her shoulder at my timid smile. 

“Oh, great. You next in line to tell me how obvious it is that I’m not managing? Cause I’m pretty over my quota for concerned conversations for the day.” She muttered bitterly, aggression radiating off of her in waves and though I hadn’t expected to find her in a positive mood, I was unsettled by how furious she still seemed. I had intended to investigate the cause of her outburst with Abby, but quickly decided to attempt to distract her instead of directly confronting the issue when she was this wound up.

“No, actually. I’m here to discuss a mutual problem of ours. You saw the way that Jasper reacted to being held hostage earlier, right?” I presented, genuinely needing to discuss the events of the day anyway to confirm that I hadn’t imagined them and decided that this might be a simpler way to ease her into honesty. Usually, I could depend on her to share a similar opinion to mine, planning to prompt her to turn her reflections of Jasper on herself and in defiance of all my expectations, she seemed to be only further frustrated by this tactic.

“Fuck Jasper.” She growled, making her best attempt to seem thoroughly disinterested in the topic that I’d offered and I raised my brows at her cold response. “I mean, he’s not the only person in camp with a hard life, you know. I get that Mount Weather was shitty for you all and I’ve obviously worked out that he cared about this Maya girl, but he only knew her for a couple of weeks. I was with Finn for basically my whole life and now he’s gone. You don’t see me attacking everyone.” She ranted, throwing tools around as she spoke and I couldn’t contain a judgemental expression from filling my face at her hypocritical statement.

“Funny that you should say that when you just went pretty hard on Abby back there.” I commented carefully and she turned to view me with a severe scowl.

“Wow. You’re so right. All my problems are solved by your incredible insight, Indie. Thanks!” She cheered in an uncomfortably sarcastic tone and I shuffled on the spot. The temper that burned in her eyes was a clear warning that I needed to tread carefully, but her words pushed my thoughts out of my mouth regardless.

“You’re suffering. We get it. But like you said, you’re not the only one, Raven. It doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone else like shit!” I scolded, crossing my arms with annoyance and she kicked a nearby workbench in anger. A heavy silence fell upon us, whilst deep breaths caused her chest to rise and fall dramatically and I could tell that she was considering my words as she paused from attacking. I chewed my lip as I attempted to think of something to say and forced myself to regain control, unwilling to be ruled by my emotions as I had been in the past. “You know, it’s okay if you ever want to talk about Finn. He was a big part of your life and now-”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it! Talking isn’t gonna bring him back, so what’s the point?!” She yelled, lashing out with her limbs in a fiery display of rage and I stepped back out of her reach. She tugged at her hair in stress and I was taken aback by how quickly our conversation had descended into chaos. “Everyone thinks that if they just say the right thing, or give the right advice then it’ll all be okay, but it’s not okay. Everything is fucked and we’re just stuck with it. So, what’s the point in complaining? We just have to drag ourselves through life until we eventually die.” She exclaimed, before turning to view me with her hands on her hips and it was clear that she was awaiting a response. I could feel my temper burning in my chest, but I pushed it down and refused to allow her to bait me into an argument.

“I don’t have the answers for you, Raven. Like everyone else, all I can do is be here for you.” I stated in an even tone and she scoffed loudly, shaking her head in annoyance as if my words were merely a copout. Though I could easily have gone head to head with her, tearing down her defences until she was forced to address the issue that she was hiding behind hurtful words, I knew that it would not be beneficial to either of us and instead I strived to deal with this matter as I felt Arlo would. “Speaking of everyone else, I think that you need to apologise to Abby.” I revealed, forcing my voice into a firmer tone as she examined me with a sense of disbelief and I held my ground, even though I felt as if I could wither under her gaze.

“Are you serious right now?” She spat, running her hands through her hair and I nodded back slowly, being careful not to further aggravate her with my movements when I knew that my words were already likely to do so. Despite knowing that she could be about to explode, I held my ground and continued to fight my anger away from the forefront of my mind.

“Yes. What you said was hurtful, especially considering how much she cares for you. Like you said with Jasper, we’ve all got our own shit going on and Abby is just doing the best that she can in these shitty circumstances.” I clarified, maintaining eye contact despite the fact that the rage in her deep brown irises made me squirm and her face grew dark as she absorbed my points.

“Get down off your high horse, Indigo. Who are you to tell anyone how to behave?” She spat, her anger bubbling into her words and I gritted my teeth with rage. Thoughts rushed through my mind at lightning speed, with cutting words preparing themselves to wander out of my mouth and it took all of my self control to remind myself that Raven was not truly deserving of receiving the brunt of my pent up emotions. I took a long, deep breath to calm myself and held my hands up in surrender.

“Look. I just came to let you know that I still have your back, even if you don’t want me to. That’s my opinion and you can take it or leave it. Just remember this: only your best friends will tell you when you’re being a bitch and right now, you are.” I added with a significant look, before turning on the spot to leave her alone before she could lead me into an attack that I would later regret.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The sky grew dark hours ago with no signs of the remaining boys that we had left on patrol, nor Kane, and we hadn’t heard anything over our comms to explain their absence. The room that I sat in was buzzing with activity, as people sorted through the most recent haul from Mount Weather and I nursed a drink with a rapidly growing feeling of anxiety. The conversation that I’d had with Bellamy this morning replayed in my mind and I began to realise that he would be unlikely to be home to read me to sleep tonight.

There was a deep sense of disappointment in my chest, as this wasn’t the first time recently that Bellamy had promised we would spend time together, only for him to get caught up with guard work. Though I understood his need to contribute to our new settlement, I wished that he could have developed an interest in growing food or implementing technology for camp, instead of fulfilling a role that put him at constant risk. It was less the unreliability of his position that bothered me, but rather the fact that I knew how badly things could go wrong outside of our walls and I hated being left to imagine what kind of misfortune could have befallen him this time.

I’d been told many times that the best way to deal with a burden like this was to share it and at many times in the past I had even reminded others of this advice, but I didn’t feel able to lean on anyone else at the moment. At least for the time being, I felt like a mother that was desperately clinging to her delicate family in an attempt to hold them together and I kept my focus firmly set on their needs, rather than tending to my own. 

Raven seemed to have calmed from our earlier talk, as she chatted to Gina and I was once again thankful for her steadying influence. As I watched her settling the anger that had earlier been thrown at me with a well practiced skill, I could still sense my own frustration bubbling away from the earlier comments and sipped at my drink in an attempt to quash it. Arlo’s techniques had enabled me to behave in a far more reasonable manner on the whole, but with so many conflicting emotions overwhelming my mind, it was difficult to manage them as I had been taught and I knew that on the inside, I was simply bottling them. All that I could do was pray that no one pushed me to the point that the bottle would smash and cause them to be drowned in it’s contents.

I watched as Abby wandered over to join Raven at the table and felt some of my stress melt away as they seemed to be having an amicable conversation over their drinks, under Gina's attentive guard. Glancing back down at my own beverage, I swilled the whisky in the cup and the deep hue of the fluid reminded me of Bellamy’s eyes. I sighed with worry, battling to keep the trauma of the past from creating nightmare hypothetical situations for me to obsess over, before downing the rest of it.

As I placed the empty cup back on the table, I noticed that Jasper had entered the space and was now barely being contained by Raven. I had intended to return to my quarters for the night, but as I witnessed the rage that burned in his face, my stomach flipped and I began to make my way over to them with a feeling of dread. As I neared, he escaped Raven’s grasp and pushed another young man who was assisting to inventory clothing.

“These belonged to people.” He spat as he snatched the fabric out of his hands and waved it in front of his face aggressively. He then threw it back at him, before turning his attention to the piano that Macallan was playing. “So did that piano.” He growled as he pointed to it in determination and before I could grasp him to keep him from making any rash moves, he charged towards it. “Grave robbers!”

He tackled Macallan from the seat with a wild amount of force, pinning him to the ground with his weight and I pushed my way past Raven to intervene. Macallan quickly threw him off, with Jasper's constant state of intoxication slowing his reflexes and as he struggled to his feet, his opponent pulled back his arm in preparation to strike. I dove between them and pushed the other boy back with a temper that pulsed from my core.

“Don’t even think about it!” I warned, gritting my teeth as I squared up to him and he hesitated for a moment as he considered me. The rage earlier bubbled up in my chest and although Jasper had been the cause of the confrontation, my protective nature overtook any reasonable part of my brain “You lay a single finger on him and I will paste you, shithead! Walk away while your legs still work.” I growled, startling even myself at the intensity of my words and Macallan looked as if he might faint from my threat. I could hardly believe that something this barbaric had fallen from my lips in response to such a minor scuffle and this allowed me to realise how deeply I still cared for Jasper, despite all of his shortcomings.

“Enough!” Abby yelled, staring between the boys with authority before her disappointed gaze landed on me. “Indie, calm yourself down and take your friend with you.” She instructed, giving me the chance to throw one final glare at the terrified boy, before I turned to find an older resident manhandling Jasper to contain him. I pushed him off of my friend without a single word and as Jasper met my eyes, his anger dissolved into apprehension.

“Walk. Now.” I spat in obvious frustration and for the first time in many months he didn’t challenge me, simply turning to stumble from the room with me closely behind to escort him. 


	6. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐿𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑂𝑓 𝐺𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑓

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ:** Wᴀɴʜᴇᴅᴀ: Pᴀʀᴛ Tᴡᴏ

The bed felt enormous as I laid in the centre of it in an effort to make it feel less empty and stared at the ceiling. My cheeks were still damp from tears and I hadn’t managed to sleep even for a moment. Once I’d dropped Jasper home to Monty, I returned to our quarters to wait for Bellamy and instead, found myself obsessing over a whirlwind of issues that had recently come to my attention.

My heart ached from the weight of the emotions that were weighing on me and I could feel my mind whirring as it tore everything into small pieces. Insecurity screamed over all of my thoughts, ripping into my softest spots as it berated me for failing my family and the doubt that seemed to permanently reside inside me grew louder again. The words from our recent argument repeated in my mind like a never ending soundtrack and I couldn’t help feeling that there was some hidden meaning there that Bellamy had hoped I wouldn’t notice.

There was one thing in particular that didn’t sit right with me, his comment about both Clarke and I running away. I couldn’t fight down the discomfort with the insinuation that he’d viewed both of our actions in the same light, as if both departures had impacted him in equal measures. Not only did this seem acutely unfair, but it made me begin to suspect that there was far more to Clarke’s leaving than he’d ever admitted and I wondered exactly what emotions he was burying.

Though I managed to catch some limited sleep between vibrant nightmares, I woke regularly to check whether Bellamy had crept in, only to be disappointed. By the time that light crept into the room, I had already given up and dressed myself for the mornings responsibilities. It felt strange to slip Bellamy’s jacket around my shoulders when he was missing and gave me an unpleasant reminder of the way that I’d felt in Mount Weather. I shook off the feelings before they could settle and made my way towards Jasper and Monty’s dorm with nerves remaining heavy on my chest.

Knocking loudly on the door, I was surprised to find that Jasper was both awake and, as far as I could tell, sober. After giving me a silent acknowledgement, he simply fell into step with me without protest and I was content to escort him to medical, free from any painful insults. I was lost to thought the entire time and it was clear from Jasper’s demeanour that he had noticed this, allowing me some simple time in his company for a change.

We arrived at our destination to find Abby waiting with an expression that matched my earlier reaction and I handed him over to her care with relief. She took hold of his shoulders, glancing back at me encouragingly and led him into a room for treatment. Settling into a seat in the waiting area, I tapped my leg nervously and struggled to remain in place from the energy that thrummed through my body. Just as I started to feel like I might crack from the pressure, Harper wandered into medical, making a beeline for me and I sat bolt upright in anticipation.

“Sorry. I don’t have any news for you.” She revealed with an apologetic expression as she absorbed my tense posture and I cursed under my breath. She sighed as she settled into a seat beside me and we lapsed into a tense silence as I stared obsessively at the doors, waiting for any update on the whereabouts of the missing boys. “I get why you’re worried. Things can get crazy out there. But those boys can handle it. Look at everything that we’ve survived so far.” She stated with a certainty that I wished I could share and I knew that I was unable to contain my thoughts any longer.

“Something’s wrong with Bellamy.” I blurted, running my hands through my hair in stress and feeling tension in every single muscle in my body. The thought of keeping these suspicions to myself any longer felt impossible and I knew that if I didn’t confide in someone now, I’d end up lashing out at someone sooner or later. Harper glanced over at me in concern and though I kept my gaze on my hands, I could feel her care.

“Either you’ve heard something that I haven’t, or you’re developing psychic powers now. The way that things have been going lately, I’m not sure that either would surprise me any more.” She commented with a slight smile in an effort to lighten the conversation and I shook my head at her in disbelief.

“I’m not talking about today, or because of the mission. There’s something going on with him. Something bigger that he’s keeping secret. I just know it.” I revealed in a voice that sounded significantly paranoid and Harper fidgeted awkwardly in her seat. My fingers rubbed at my temples, attempting to relieve some of the pressure in my burning eyes and I could tell that Harper was considering her next words carefully.

“Have you talked to him about it?” She enquired innocently and I scoffed under my breath as I recalled all of the previous conversations that I’d have with Bellamy on this topic. Each time, the reasoning that he provided was always dismissive at best, or at it’s worst, simply felt deeply disingenuous and I was unsure about how to adequately explain this to her, when she hadn’t been present to witness any of them.

“Yes, many times. He always makes an excuse, or tries to distract me. He says he’s fine.” I reported unable to think of any more compelling evidence that I could provide and she nodded back slowly, silently indicating that I had answered my own question. Threading my hands together, I stared down at them to avoid meeting her eyes as I could feel her gaze burning into the side of my face. “I don’t know how to explain it. I can just feel it in my gut.” I divulged, feeling as if my words couldn't possibly do justice to the instinct and Harper merely smiled at me sympathetically.

“Indie, you have the best intuition of anyone I’ve ever met, but even you are capable of burnout. Give yourself a break.” She advised in a calming tone and I hummed thoughtfully in response, already certain that her comments would do little to assist my anxieties. After another brief period of heavy silence, Harper got to her feet and faced me with determination. “We’re short on guards today. Why don't you come join me on the gate? It’s gotta be better than sitting in here, slowly losing your shit, right?” She suggested and though I was reluctant, I forced a smile.

“I don’t know, Harper. I’m grateful for the offer, but-”

“I’m not taking no for an answer. Now, come on.” She interrupted, grabbing my hand to pull me from the chair and I stumbled to keep up with her hurried steps.

Without any warning, she dragged me outside into the courtyard that was still relatively empty at this early time of day and halted at the armoury, pushing me toward the desk insistently. I begrudgingly armed myself as she waited impatiently to the side and decided that I didn’t have the energy to argue with her. Once fully prepared for duty, I followed her to the steps that led up to the guard tower and met the overnight team that we would be relieving.

“Oh, thank god you found someone. I can feel my bed calling me.” A man that I didn’t recognise rapidly began gathering his things to leave the moment that he noticed our presence and only paused as he noticed Harper. She yawned as she made herself comfortable and I could easily recognise the exhaustion that filled her face. It was the same kind that filled my tense features, the kind that was rooted in fear and loneliness and longed for the reassurance that only one person could provide. The guard approached to place a hand on her shoulder with a familiarity that I assumed had come from spending numerous hours covering these kinds of shifts and she glanced up at him in surprise. “They’ll be alright, you know.” He asserted, smiling reassuringly at her before he finally stumbled out and I hesitated in the doorway. 

For a moment, I felt immensely guilty for forgetting that I wasn’t the only person whose loved ones had remained out in the unknown and I began to view Harper’s heavily focused behaviour for what it truly was: a need for distraction. She had already positioned herself near the front and was staring out across the fields with a fierce concentration. I shuffled over to her side and smiled sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, Harper.” I breathed, fiddling with my hands awkwardly and she turned to view me with confusion. “I was too absorbed in my own feelings to remember that you are in the same boat.” I explained with a sigh and moved to lean against the wall with my arms crossed in an effort to soothe myself. She glimpsed up from her task to view me with a surprisingly understanding face and her consideration only intensified my guilt. “You’re right. I am losing my shit. Everyone around me is so busy falling apart that I’m just trying my best to be the constant that they need. It’s ridiculous, really. The only thing that’s constant about me is how insane I feel.” I confessed, allowing myself to drop my exhausting defenses for a few moments and Harper assessed me with an obvious sympathy. She opened her mouth to respond, but paused as her eyes darted to the side and she grew tense.

“Shit, Indie. We’ve got company!” She hissed, rushing to grab the radio from the main desk and I moved into position to investigate through the scope of a nearby gun. “Single rider approaching the gates. Requesting backup unit.” Harper ordered through the speaker and I was shocked at how quickly I could hear the sounds of movement from below. The trees blocked my view as I attempted to get a better look at the approaching fighter and radio chatter filled the guard shelter as I struggled.

“Fighter approaching.”

“Where?”

“Outside pole 20.”

The voices carried from beneath us and I knew that a small unit would already be marching through the field to apprehend whomever had dared to near Arkadia. As I finally managed to place the rider in my scope, I noticed that they were leaning over dramatically to one side and appeared to be battling to remain on their horse. For a few heart stopping seconds, I feared that it might be Arlo seeking me out for aid, but as they came closer I was able to make out a thick mane of dark hair and breathed a sigh of relief as I allowed the terror to leave my body.

“Call me crazy, Harper, but I think our rider might need help.” I muttered as I attempted to adjust my sight and could feel Harper’s disbelief from beside me, without even looking at her. As I fiddled with the magnifier, a familiar face blocked my view and I stopped to observe. Octavia waved with both arms above her head in a bid to gain anyone’s attention and as I peeked over the top of the gun to survey the full situation, I realised that Lincoln was now at the ride of the rider. Octavia’s voice was faint from this distance, but I could easily read her lips when studying through the gun sight. Without hesitation, I reached over to snatch the radio from Harper to pass on her instruction.

“All guards, hold fire. Rider is friendly. Repeat. Hold your damn fire!” I declared in an urgent voice and the moment that I had finished, I handed the radio back to Harper to stride toward the stairs. “I’m going down there. We’ve got way too many guards who get trigger happy around grounders.” I stated firmly, rushing down the steps before Harper could even begin to tell me to stay and I broke into a jog to slip through the gates before they could finish closing behind the squad. I ran over to Octavia at full pelt, charging past the other guards who still pointed their guns before they could stop me and interrupted a heated conversation between Lincoln and the stranger.

“ _Nyko, chon dula dison?_ ” _[Nyko, who did this?]_ Lincoln insisted, shaking the rider with a frantic attitude that I had only previously seen him display when Octavia was in trouble and I quickly realised that this must be someone dear to him.

“ _Azgeda._ ” The stranger rasped, before slipping into unconsciousness and collapsing on his horse. Octavia grabbed the reins to lead it forward, whilst Lincoln remained at his friends' side, gripping his limp body to keep him in place.

“ _I’ll go ahead and get help._ ” I announced, before turning on my heel to run toward camp. “Make yourselves useful and help bring him in!” I ordered as I passed the guards and continued on my warpath toward medical. Fortunately, before I’d even made it all the way to the doors, I found Jackson carrying fresh stock and grabbed his arm in relief. 

“Emergency situation! We need you, Doc.” I spat as I ushered him to follow me and although he seemed uncertain, he jogged alongside me without hesitation. I was thankful of his trust in me and for the first time, all of the visits to medical seemed to have a benefit. “Friend of Lincoln’s in a real bad way. The guards are helping to bring him in now, but I thought you might have something to say about how they move him?” I elaborated, explaining the limited information that I’d gathered as we moved and he nodded over at me.

“Good call, Indie. Always got a good head on those young shoulders.” He chuckled nervously, flattering me with his assessment and I stayed protectively close to him as we found the group making their way to the entrance of the Ark. Jackson ran ahead to coordinate the transfer of his unconscious patient to a stretcher and Octavia came to wait beside me, allowing them the space to work.

“ _It’s Nyko. The grounder I told you about. The one that saved my life. He’s Lincoln’s closest friend, basically family._ ” She explained, her voice heavy with emotion and I slipped my hand through hers to provide some comfort. Everything became clearer now and I quickly calculated that this was a high stakes situation due to both sentimentality and any information that he could provide us on the recent actions of the Ice Nation. 

“ _We’ll make sure that we do everything we can for him, then._ ” I asserted, fixing her with a reassuring smile and she managed to smile weakly in return.

Before I could say anything else, Jackson hurriedly threw the supplies that he’d been carrying at me and indicated for me to follow him, as he kept himself beside the stretcher to issue the carriers with tasks as they transported him. A loud collection of hurried footsteps echoed through the halls as our little formation made its way to medical and Octavia entered first to prepare Abby for the situation that was about to land on her. As I rounded the corner with the others, I found Abby staring at us in shock and Lincoln took responsibility for explaining the situation.

“He said it was Azgeda. Ice Nation.” He revealed as he assisted in carrying the stretcher and Abby guided him to a bed. People immediately flurried around the patient and I was relieved when the guards exited after making their delivery, unwilling to include any biased voices in the discussion of the grounders treatment.

“Where?” Abby quizzed impatiently and though I was keen to attain as much information as possible, I remained attentive to Jackson, who pointed to an area for me to drop the medical supplies. I placed the items where he had instructed, within close reach of the newly admitted patient and found myself standing to one side in a lost manner.

“We don’t know.” Lincoln answered sharply, panic clear in his voice and I could feel tension growing in the room as everyone gathered around Nyko. As I took a few steps back to allow them the space to work, I noticed that Jasper was still here following his appointment and was hiding at the back of the space nervously. Feeling as if I was little more than a distraction in Nyko’s treatment, I approached Jasper with concern, preparing myself for the possibility of attack.

“You all cleared from your checkup?” I questioned quietly and he slowly tore his eyes from the commotion, bringing them to me in surprise. “No infections?” I prompted, attempting to give him an alternative to focus on as he seemed to be overwhelmed and he simply nodded in return.

“She says I’m fine.” He muttered, seeming as if he were in a daze and I furrowed my brows in concern. It was unclear whether he was simply distressed from the sudden interruption, or if there was something else causing his strange behaviour. I opened my mouth to question him further, but before I could, the conversation behind me caught my attention. 

“Well, I don’t understand. Can you save him or not?” Octavia’s voice was sharp as she questioned the medical team and though I kept my eyes trained on Jasper, I was listening intently for the answer.

“Not here.” Jackson commented quietly and I turned to claim a place in the group as Abby hissed his name quietly, sounding suspiciously as if she were trying to hide something. Lincoln seemed to share this instinct as he turned to view her with a riveted interest and I held my breath as the tension in the room crashed over me.

“Wait. What’s he talking about?” Lincoln interrogated, glimpsing between Abby and Jackson, and I felt a deep sense of foreboding in the atmosphere between them. Though nothing was confirmed, I had the distinct feeling that whatever scheme Jackson was about to reveal would cause issues in the group and I could tell from his nervous posture that even he was uncomfortable with the suggestion that he was being forced to reveal.

“I’m talking about Mount Weather.” Jackson confirmed and I cursed under my breath at the name. I glanced over my shoulder to notice that Jasper had begun shaking at even the mere suggestion of taking Nyko to the mountain and I was forced to acknowledge that another voice in this discussion would only serve in raising it to an argument. I sighed as I withdrew from the argument to stand beside him and aimed to make myself useful by comforting him instead. 

“I understand not wanting to go back there.” I commented quietly, avoiding even peeking at him as I spoke in the hope that this might avoid triggering his nasty behaviour and I noticed him fidgeting in my peripheral vision. “I threw up the first time. My legs shook and I couldn’t breathe. It was awful. Afterward, though, the memories felt just a little less daunting.” I revealed and despite the raised voices of the others fighting over the decision, I could tell that he was absorbing my words for once. Taking a deep breath to prepare myself for a possible outburst, I turned to face him and found him scrutinising me with a vulnerable expression. “If we do this, it’ll be for a good reason. We’d be using a terrible place to save a life. Maybe that framing could give you an easier opportunity to face the past? Maybe it’s time, Jasper.” I suggested quietly and he bit his lip nervously as he met my eyes, before quickly turning away again. 

“Lincoln. You said to me yesterday that even our supply runs were putting us at risk. They were jeopardising our peace.” Abby mentioned in a hushed voice and I was glad of this confirmation that someone other than myself was reminding the Chancellor of the importance of compromising with the grounders. Lincoln hummed in agreement and it was clear to see that things were becoming complex from the way that they all glanced at each other over Nyko, leaving me relieved that the decision hadn’t been passed to me as their official grounder advisor. “How would you advise me now?” Abby interrogated and as he fidgeted on the spot, I understood how conflicted he must feel.

“Lincoln…” Octavia muttered, a warning tone in her voice and I knew that we were both sharing the same thought about the risks of this decision. Our ventures to the mountain had been frequent recently and I knew that if we were seen ferrying a patient inside, it would only provide a poor impression on the terms of our ceasefire.

“He’s my friend.” Lincoln stated firmly and as Octavia’s gaze gradually shifted away from him, we connected to share a regretful expression. Even without a single word spoken between us, it was clear that we were both considering the political ramifications and the damage control that would be required after. “Save him.” Lincoln finally declared as he turned to Abby and my stomach dropped in dread.

“Get him ready for transport.” Abby instructed, prompting Jackson to rush into making preparations and she turned slightly to the side to address us, alongside those beside her. “It’ll take all of us to get him there alive. That includes you, Jasper. I hope you’re ready to face your feelings.” She warned with a pointed look towards him and I quickly gathered that he must’ve done something before we entered to earn that kind of comment from the usually patient doctor.

“We can get Nyko in the back of the backup rover on the stretcher, but we won't all fit with him.” I calculated quickly and Abby quirked a brow at me, as if expecting a solution. “Octavia and I can help you get him into the vehicle and then follow on the horses. Lincoln and Jasper can ride with the medical staff, give you the muscle that you need to move him if necessary.” I proposed, thinking on my feet to ensure that I left a way to remove Jasper from the situation if things became too much and thanks to my careful presentation, no one seemed to have any suspicions about my intentions.

Transporting Nyko into the clunky, inefficient other vehicle was every bit as difficult as I had imagined and the journey to Mount Weather felt painfully long as we shared a single hope that we wouldn’t be too late to save his life. It felt wrong to leave Arkadia when Bellamy still hadn’t appeared and my worries over his absence were a constant distraction.

Octavia and I were sore from riding when the entrance to the facility came into view, but wasted no concern on ourselves as we all gathered to move Nyko. Jackson ran ahead to secure a wheeled stretcher from inside and the moment that we’d transferred the patient to this, we all set into place rushing him through the dark hallways of the vastly empty space. There was so much activity that I felt torn between my responsibilities and kept issuing Jasper with jobs to prevent him from lapsing into shock at our location. As the lift finally opened to the correct floor, we poured out to run the stretcher toward the surgical rooms.

“How are you holding up?” Jackson queried, staring over at Abby with concern and she merely glanced back over her shoulder at him in a fluster.

“Don’t worry about me.” She spat, obvious annoyance in her tone at being forced into this position and Jackson seemed uncomfortable under her scrutiny. “Just get the blood. I’ll prep him.” She ordered as she walked and I was distracted by a sudden absence at my side. I hesitated, allowing the trolley to move away from my grip and found that Jasper had halted in the middle of the hallway. As Nyko disappeared around the corner, Octavia paused on the spot to look back at us questioningly and I knew that I would have to make my own choice now.

“You go. Too many people will just cause a distraction anyway. I’ll stay with Jasper.” I conceded, flashing her a supportive smile and she obediently chased after them. I turned around to find Jasper staring at his environment with a pained expression, his eyes darting from one sight to another manically and it was clear that he was beginning to descend into panic as he shook all over. Carefully, I stepped toward him and even though I moved as gently as possible, my hand landing on his arm caused him to startle.

“Hey, it’s okay.” I whispered in an attempt at soothing him, but he seemed to be devolving into a panic attack as his breaths came fast and ragged. With reluctance, I glanced back over my shoulder in the direction that the others disappeared, keen to remain close to them in case I was needed, but as Jasper's condition rapidly worsened, I realised with defeat that this would not be possible. “Alright. Just take some deep breaths. I’m gonna get you some fresh air.” I instructed, using my grip on his arm to guide him through the halls toward the surface and he was unable to respond as he seemed to be using all of his energy to hold himself together.

Once we stepped out into the cool air, I guided him through some deep breathing exercises that I’d used on Octavia in the Skybox that felt like a lifetime ago and when he finally regained enough control to be coherent, we both climbed up to the flat area above the bunker door to sit down. The breeze blew through my hair, fluttering it around me and I glanced over to find Jasper staring out into the distance, seeming lost in thought. I sighed bitterly as I considered the wedge that had been driven between us recently and whilst he was unusually quiet, I felt nostalgic for the old times, when I knew that I could always lean on him. In a moment of blind faith, I decided to take a risk and hoped that my honesty would be rewarded with even the slightest glimpse of the friend that I dearly missed.

“You know, I have problems leaving this place behind too.” I muttered in a low voice, fidgeting nervously on the spot and though Jaspers behaviour remained wholly unchanged, I could instinctually tell that he was listening. “Every time that I think I’ve moved past it, it comes back to haunt me. I see it in my dreams.” I revealed, bearing a part of myself that, until now, I had only shared with Bellamy and an immense sense of anxiety filed my chest as I waited for his response. The silence that followed my words was stifling, as I realised that I felt far too delicate to withstand one of Jasper’s expertly aimed attacks and prayed that my vulnerability would reach the person that I wanted to believe still existed under the grief.

“What do you dream about?” Jasper’s voice was hoarse and filled with uncertainty, and it took almost all of my self control to keep myself from flinching in surprise. Instead, I attempted to seem unphased and concentrated on keeping a casual, light feeling to the conversation. His focus was still firmly set on the trees that surrounded us as I examined him and I tore my eyes away to stare down at my feet, as my legs swung off the edge in an effort to expend my nervous energy. 

“A wholesome mixture of real memories and horrific versions of outcomes that my imagination cooks up. I’ve never had nightmares like it before, not even with everything else that I’ve survived.” I explained, feeling strange about lowering my walls this much and with every word that I released, I felt a sense of relief that was addictive. Before I could stop myself, the truth began to escape my lips out of my control. 

“You’re right about me, you know.” I blurted, shocking even myself and Jasper finally turned to face me with his brows deeply furrowed. “I’m a killer. I did unspeakable things here. Things that I’m too ashamed to even speak aloud. I’ll never be able to forget them, but I’m doing everything that I can to live with them. Maybe one day, we’ll both be able to move on from everything that happened here. Until then, I guess no matter how hard I try to hide it, you’ll always be able to see the evil in my eyes.” I admitted, my lip trembling from the strain of holding back my emotions and Jasper’s expression cracked into one of genuine remorse.

“You’re not evil. You’re just human.” He informed in a chillingly calm manner and I nodded slowly in return, rubbing at my eyes before any tears could escape to track down my cheeks. 

“None of us is innocent.” He added. There was something in his expression that hinted these words had some important sentimentality to them and I could tell that he seemed to have even shocked himself by saying them. He sighed deeply, as if reflecting on something significant and when he next glanced up at me, the wall that usually prevented any genuine conversation with him seemed to be absent. 

“I’m sorry, Indie. I just get so...angry.” He drifted off, seeming to struggle to find the words to express himself and I met his eyes with a sympathetic smile.

“I know, Jasper. Me too.” I confessed in a small voice, before threading my hand through his for comfort and leaning my head on his shoulder. Barely seconds later, he leaned into me too and we stayed huddled together in a comfortable silence.


	7. 𝐻𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑆𝑢𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a pleasure to be back! I truly didn't plan for my mental health break to be a month long, but I'm feeling refreshed and ready to put you all through a rollercoaster of emotions again ;) 
> 
> I did just want to take this chance to say thank you for every single person who has read one of my stories, left votes and comments, followed me and just generally given me support. Those interactions were the highlight of an utterly terrible year and have given me so much hope for 2021.
> 
> Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I plan to give these stories my all this year!

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ:** Wᴀɴʜᴇᴅᴀ: Pᴀʀᴛ Tᴡᴏ

After leaving Jasper alone to search for something as requested, I marched through the halls of the facility and although I felt uneasy leaving him unsupervised, I tried to keep my focus on catching up with the others. Everything had happened so fast that I hadn’t had the chance to process it and as the reality of my location began to sink in, I felt my heartbeat quicken. Without anyone else to distract me, I couldn’t fight back the ghosts of this place and as my anxiety rapidly grew, I began to feel as if the walls were closing in on me. Just as the trembling spread into my legs, Octavia rounded the corner and almost collided into me.

“There you are! I was just coming to check on you. Is everything okay?” She gasped, analysing my nervous form closely and I knew that she would easily recognise my distress. I nodded sharply in response, attempting to mask my emotions and she glanced to my side, before thinning her eyes at me. “Where’s Jasper?” She enquired with concern and I released a tired sigh, uncomfortable with the feeling that she was judging me for leaving him. 

“I’m not really sure. He asked for some alone time. Apparently he needed to find something important.” I muttered, rubbing at my temples and she quirked a brow at me in confusion. Pushing aside my insecurity about her opinion of my decision to part from him, I decided to change the topic as I realised that I felt too run down to manage any criticism at the moment. “How’s Nyko? Did the surgery go okay?” I asked, shifting the conversion and her expression softened slightly.

“Abby says that it went well. Lincoln’s in the medical ward waiting for Nyko to wake up. It’s all pretty calm up there now, if you want to check in with Abby and Jackson.” She suggested in a tone that hinted that there was something more happening that I should investigate and though I was intrigued, the information that I just received about Nyko caused me to release a breath that I didn’t even realise I was holding in relief. “I’ll look for Jasper. I have a few ideas on where he might be.” She stated, moving to pass me without awaiting a response and I grabbed her arm to halt her.

“Wait!” I spluttered, pulling her back to me and glancing down at the radio on her hip. “Did you hear anything from Arkadia?” I questioned, feeling a small blossom of hope in my chest that was quickly crushed by her reluctant expression.

“They haven’t come back yet, Indie. I’m sorry.” She gently relayed with a remorseful smile and I nodded back, before releasing my grip on her. The way that she tilted her head at me revealed that she could sense the overbearing wave of emotion that waited just beneath the controlled veneer that I displayed, but I knew that if I even began to discuss it with her, it would open the floodgates and so instead I turned on the spot to head toward medical without another word.

When I stepped into the ward, I found Abby, Jackson and Lincoln huddled around Nyko, who appeared to be awake and mostly alert. I was glad to see that our risk had the unexpected benefit of saving a life, even if I was concerned for the consequences of our actions with our allies and approached them with a smile.

“Looks like everything is going well here.” I announced cheerfully as I reached the bedside and Lincoln immediately glanced at me over his shoulder with a grateful smile. Some of my anxiety fizzled away at the warmth of his expression, momentarily reminding me of the emotional reasoning for this plan and I found myself feeling glad that we’d been able to repay Lincoln’s enduring kindness to our people in some way.

“He’s doing very well, but we’d like to keep him here for a few days to monitor him.” Abby informed in a matter of fact manner and I peered between her and Jackson with confusion. When we had last spoken of coming here moments before leaving Arkadia, Abby had been adamant that we needed to be cautious in our movements, ensuring that we were not perceived to be settling in the mountain and it seemed obvious to me that something had changed in her attitude since then. She glanced back at Jackson, before clearing her throat to address me. “We’ve decided to open Mount Weather as a medical facility. Lincoln and Nyko will help us to convince the grounders of the help that this place can offer both of our people.” She explained and after first raising my brows at her in surprise, I turned to Lincoln questioningly. It seemed an incredibly sudden change after the numerous conversations that we’d had about every decision mattering in our delicate alliance and I was stunned that he would be so swayed from a single event, no matter how significant.

“This place saved Nyko’s life. It could do the same for many of my people who would otherwise die.” He argued, causing me to remember the many times when living with Arlo that I had seen other grounders perish from injuries that we knew how to treat and though I still felt uncomfortable at the idea, I decided to discuss this in greater detail with him at a later date. Currently, I was too distracted by the continued absence of Bellamy and the others to be able to give a well balanced opinion on anything else and I knew that Lincoln had substantially more awareness of the grounders than I did, that would allow him to provide a more reliable insight.

“If Lincoln thinks that is best, then I understand.” I replied in a calm tone and I could practically feel the shock in the room at my reasonable reaction, as if I were some kind of loose canon that they feared triggering. “I can’t stay for a couple of days, though. Jasper isn’t coping well. I want to take him back to Arcadia and, honestly, I need to find out what is happening with Bellamy. I’ll take the horse and leave you the Rover to transport Nyko.” I explained, not leaving any space for their opinion as I’d already made up my mind.

“If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you.” Abby agreed, clearly as exhausted with arguing as I currently felt and I smiled gratefully at her support. 

“Perhaps you should go back too?” Jackson’s uncertain voice interrupted and as I turned my attention to him, I noticed that he was examining her closely. Abby glanced over her shoulder at him in visible confusion as we all awaited an explanation for this bizarre suggestion. “I know that you have only just agreed to open this place, but we can worry about that later. For now, Kane is still missing and people at Arkadia will need reassuring. I can handle Nyko during his recovery and will bring back the Rover when we’re all done.” He presented a well thought out plan and I was enormously pleased to find that someone other than myself seemed concerned about the missing patrol. Abby was clearly reluctant, fidgeting on the spot as she contemplated her choices and I could feel myself becoming impatient as I waited to search for Bellamy.

“Get Jasper ready to go. I’ll discuss this with Jackson and find you when I have made a decision.” She ordered suddenly, making it clear that I was not welcome for the conversation that would follow and I wasted no time in making preparations, keen to join the rescue effort that I hoped she would support.

When I found Jasper wandering out of the storage room, it was obvious that he had been crying from his damp cheeks and bloodshot eyes, and Octavia quickly emerged behind him, giving me a subtle shake of the head to indicate that I shouldn’t address it now. Instead, I simply trusted her to have handled the cause of the upset and delivered news that I hoped would be a relief for him.

“Abby doesn’t need me here any longer. I’m going back to Arkadia. You coming?” I asked, despite being almost certain of his answer already and Jasper nodded vigorously before I’d even finished the question. “Alright. Grab your stuff and get ready to go. We’re taking the horse.” I explained, prompting Jasper to scurry off to leave as soon as possible and leaving me alone with Octavia, who examined me with confusion. “Abby is still deciding whether she’ll be coming too. Jackson says that he can handle caring for Nyko. Either way, I need to get back.” I revealed, recapping the conversation for her as I moved to follow Jasper and was surprised when Octavia fell into step with me.

“That’s sensible. We should get back.” She agreed without a moment of hesitation and I glanced over at her with shock, expecting her to remain at Lincoln’s side as he guarded Nyko protectively. “My brother is still missing. You bet your ass I’m coming with you.” She stated firmly and I chuckled as I shook my head at her, inwardly pleased that I would have her with me to face any conflicting opinions about the necessary resources for this task. “I’ll take Abby on Helios if she does decide to join us. She’s a terrible rider anyway.” She quipped with a wink, providing a much needed lightness to the tense air .

Fortunately, the Chancellor announced that she would return to us, which in my mind was the correct decision and I was thankful that Jackson had assisted in shifting her focus in finding our missing people. I couldn’t deny feeling frustrated that she had allowed so much time to pass without addressing it, but it seemed both irrelevant and risky to mention this now that we’d finally achieved her attention.

Throughout the journey home, my mind obsessed over the multitude of situations that could have prevented their return and it was only when I noticed that Jasper gradually became more relaxed the further that we got from Mount Weather that gave me any respite from the feeling of terror that riddled me. It was painful for me to witness him in such a distressed condition and although I knew that he would not return fully to the Jasper that I knew and loved when we got home, I still preferred the version of him that existed in Arkadia to the shivering, emotional wreck that he became in Mount Weather.

I felt a wave of relief flood over me the moment that we passed through the gates to Arkadia and prayed that there had been an update of any nature whilst we were travelling. Jasper immediately excused himself to be alone and I respected his desire to recover after what had undoubtedly been a harrowing experience for him, allowing him to return to his room without any bother. People immediately crowded around us, questions filling the air around both the missing patrol and the nature of our sudden departure, and I could barely think straight through the chaos. It was clear that things had become rather heightened during our absence and everyone wanted answers that were admittedly entirely deserved. Harper pushed her way through the crowd to reach me and I recalled out to grab her without hesitation.

“Hey! Have you heard anything?” I spat, wasting no time in quizzing her and she shook her head solemnly in response. Crushing disappointment struck my chest and Octavia sidled up beside me for support, her expression equally concerned.

“What do we know?” Abby interrogated, moving closer to address Harper with an intensity that was rather intimidating and I chewed on my lip with anxiety. The last conversation that I’d had with Bellamy replayed in my mind, desperately analysing for any detail that I might previously have overlooked and I couldn’t imagine how their plans could have changed so dramatically in such a short time.

“They were headed to meet Councillor Kane in Sector 4. It was a covert mission, so unfortunately only Kane knew what they were going for, or where they were going next.” Harper explained, wringing her hands together nervously under the Chancellors scrutiny and I couldn’t help inwardly kicking myself for not investigating exactly where they were going before I parted from Bellamy.

“He should have shared those details with me.” Abby hissed in frustration, placing her hands on her hips and I waited eagerly for her to sanction a rescue effort. “Prepare a search party. We’ll investigate Sector 4 to start.” She instructed, threading her hands through her hair fretfully and Octavia and I wasted no time in marching toward the armory, with Harper hot on our heels.

We began arming ourselves in silence, entirely focused on the task ahead of us. Though there were no words between us, we each recognised our unfaltering commitment to at least one of those who were still missing and I felt more connected to each of the girls then than I had ever been. Just as we finished our preparations, I parted from them to rush to medical to check in with Abby and as I felt too impatient to wait even a moment longer. I had barely even reached her when the doors clattered open again from behind me, and though I turned expecting to find Harper and Octavia catching up, breath caught in my throat at the unexpected arrival. 

“Abby! We need help!” Miller called out as he stumbled into the room alongside Kane, who were both holding Bellamy’s arms over their shoulders. He could barely manage to walk, hobbling with significant support from the others and I noticed that he was not only bizarrely dressed in grounder attire, but the left leg of his trousers were completely soaked in blood from the mid thigh down.

I overheard Harper fussing over Monty just outside of the room and though I was pleased to see them all, my relief was quickly dampened by the state of Bellamy. Fear surged through me and though I knew that I needed to stay out of Abby’s way to allow her to treat him, I couldn’t prevent myself from rushing toward him the moment that he was supported to sit on the bed.

“Bellamy!” I gasped, surging into him to wrap my arms tightly around his neck and he embraced me in return, clinging onto me with as much desperation as I did him. Though the situation was urgent, everyone allowed us a few moments of reunion and I felt my anxiety gradually settling as I remained in his arms. 

“I’m here, Inds. It’s okay.” He whispered, his hot breath tickling my ear and I felt his hand settle on the back of my head, smoothing down my hair calmingly. My pounding heartbeat steadily returned to its regular pace for the first time in at least a day and I released a deep sigh of relief, allowing his warmth to seep into my skin. As my attention returned to my surroundings, I could sense Abby fidgeting around us impatiently and slowly extracted myself from Bellamy’s grip to study him.

“Where were you? What happened?” I spluttered, noticing several cuts on his face and the obvious signs of a scuffle. I pushed his hair out of his eyes and took his jaw in my hands, turning his head for a more thorough investigation. Bellamy shifted awkwardly under my scrutiny and before I could question him any further, Abby pushed her way between us to examine him.

“Things got out of control. We almost ended up clashing with the Ice Nation army.” Miller explained from behind and I turned to raise my brows at him in disbelief. He looked exhausted too, but distinctly less beaten than Bellamy and I already began to suspect that he might have been the cause of the issue. The sound of fabric being torn and a deep grimace drew my attention back to Bellamy, whose trousers were now ripped open to reveal a large wound in his thigh and I felt my brows furrow deeply with worry.

“I want to know as much as all of you, but as the only doctor here at the moment, I also need to treat my patient and I can’t do that with all of you causing a commotion.” Abby barked in an explosion of stress, glancing at us over her shoulder and I felt as if I were being torn in two opposing directions, as I struggled to decide whom to direct my stubbornness at.

“We’ll let you work, Abby. Come on, Indigo. Let’s wait outside.” Kane offered calmly and I shifted on the spot, staring back at Bellamy hesitantly. I’d only just got him back barely a few moments ago after hours of agonising fear and couldn’t help feeling as if I wanted to remain at his side, but at the same time, I knew that if I took the opportunity to question the others alone, I’d be likely to gain substantially more honest answers about the events that I’d missed than Bellamy would provide. “Bellamy’s in good hands. I’m sure he can handle some stitches alone.” Kane insisted with a kind smile and as I glanced back at the miscreant in question, he nodded at me, silently encouraging me to abide by the request. Reluctantly, I followed Miller and Kane into the hall, only to find Monty waiting worriedly. The moment that he came into view, I launched into a hug and squeezed him with a breath of relief. He immediately returned the gesture, seeming equally pleased to be reunited and with all of my family now safely home, I felt as if the missing part of my heart had returned to me. Once I’d finally calmed myself, I stepped back out of his space and turned to face the others with my eyes thinned.

“What the hell happened out there?” I questioned, glancing between them in exasperation and allowing my frustrations to finally voice themselves. They seemed to debate who would explain to me with their expression alone, with even Kane behaving as if he wished to dodge this responsibility and I tapped my foot impatiently, until Monty finally cleared his throat.

“We found Farm Station.” He answered briefly, the revelation knocking me off guard and my mouth fell open with surprise. “Well, what’s left of them at least…” He trailed off and I stuttered in an attempt to form a response, stunned that we’d had such a stroke of good luck. It was rare for events to turn out in our favour at all, but the chances of finding our people after 4 months alone in the wilderness were so low that I could hardly believe what I’d heard.

“Indra contacted me to tell us that Clarke was being targeted. I didn’t want to get Abby’s hopes up, so I kept it quiet and asked Bellamy and the others to meet us to follow the lead.” Kane began to divulge the details of the secretive mission and I turned my increasingly disbelieving expression to him. “They believe that she’s a symbol of power and that killing her will pass that power on. They’re calling her Wanheda.” He added, his disapproval of this ridiculous behaviour was obvious in his features and I felt the gears in my mind turning as I began to piece things together from our earlier confrontation.

“The riders that we killed, they asked about Wanheda.” I recalled, rubbing at my forehead and Kane nodded in confirmation of my theorising. “Well. Did you find her?” I asked impatiently, glancing past Monty for any sign of Clarke and though we hadn’t always been close, I hoped that she was well.

“We got close, but someone else got to her first.” Monty piped up, seeming deeply affected by the revelation and I sighed in defeat, unsurprised at our luck. “We saw her get taken captive by some guy, but the Ice Nation army got in the way. We had to wait for them to pass before we could follow them and by then, we were too late.” He elaborated, staring down at his feet shamefully and I felt my brows furrow in confusion, noticing that this didn’t fully answer my questions about the events of the past few days.

“Wait. None of this explains how Bellamy ended up hurt?” I probed, feeling as if I were missing a piece of the story and I noticed that they all fidgeted awkwardly at the thought of relaying this part of the experience. There was another few moments where they subtly fought over who would explain this detail, before Kane finally took responsibility.

“He attempted to rescue Clarke, but was ambushed.” He explained carefully, seeming as if he were attempting to downplay the situation and though I quirked a brow at him, I missed the opportunity to push him for any further details. Abby emerged from the room with frustration plastered over her face, pausing to address me as if she suddenly remembered that she was there as a doctor, rather than simply Chancellor.

“He’s all done, if you want to see him.” She advised with her best attempt at a smile, before turning to Kane with her arms crossed. “Now, is someone going to explain about this secret mission that I was somehow not briefed on?” She levelled him with a withering stare and just as he prepared to answer her, Harper rushed into the hall.

“Councillor Kane. You’re needed in Comms.” She breathed, urging the group to follow her in a hurry and I quickly reached out to prevent Miller from leaving, specifically targeting the one person who I trusted to always provide an honest opinion. He turned back to me with evident confusion, but I didn’t explain my intentions until everyone else had left.

“Look, I’m sorry to put you in this position, but I know that you’ll tell me the truth.” I began speaking in a low tone and he nodded apprehensively, seeming nervous at even the thought of what I might ask him. “What happened with Bellamy?” I repeated my question, thinning my eyes at him with intensity and Miller gulped, squirming on the spot as he glanced at the doors to medical with a sense of confliction. 

I remembered that there had been a time when we first arrived when he had been unnaturally loyal to Bellamy, but since the dissolution of our first camp and now the new leadership of the adults, his true personality had begun to emerge and we’d been able to develop a bond over our shared straight forward attitude. Thankfully, this meant that I knew he would make his decision based on what he believed would result in the best outcome, rather than a misguided sense of devotion and I waited with bated breath for him to speak. Eventually, he turned back to me with a determined look and it was clear that he had decided that I needed to know the truth.

“The same as usual. Bellamy caught one glimpse of Clarke and turned into a reckless idiot. He disguised himself in with the army to follow her and we only found him because he was stumbling through the woods, still trying to rescue her even after he got stabbed.” He stated with an annoyance that was clear in his voice and I couldn’t hide the hurt that I felt from his words. Yet again, I felt as if there was something more to his dependency on Clarke and I struggled to gulp down the security that burned in my throat. “I’m sorry, Indie. But if he was my boyfriend, I’d want to know too. Talk to him.” He advised, placing a hand on my shoulder supportively and finally departing to follow the others, leaving me alone with my feelings.

It was impossible to deny the hurt that I felt at this information and the way that Miller had delivered it had only confirmed my suspicion that this was an ongoing behaviour, instead of my own paranoia. The continued risk that he was willing to take to protect Clarke at any cost was particularly heart-breaking and only served to further increase my suspicions that something more was going on with them than he was willing to admit. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for a difficult conversation as I entered medical to find him lying back on the bed. I wandered over and pulled up a stool to sit at his side, prompting him to glance over at me with glazed over eyes.

“Hey, you.” I muttered as he smiled warmly at me and I gently brushed back the sweaty hair out of his face. Despite my inner turmoil, I couldn’t prevent myself from reaching out to comfort him. “How are you holding up?” I asked in a gentle voice, peering down at the fresh dressing on his thigh with concern and I noticed that he visibly relaxed under my touch. 

“Much better now that you’re here.” He crooned in an overly charming manner that only made me feel more suspicious and I allowed myself to smile for a moment in relief, feeling comforted now that he was back in my sight.

“It’s funny to see you in grounder clothing. You copying me?” I teased, lightening the tension between us before I had to open the conversation that I dreaded and he chuckled in a way that revealed how tired he was. “So, do you want to explain what happened out there, or am I just going to take the others at their word?” I questioned, causing a frown to fill his handsome face and I could tell that he was struggling to decide on an answer. He likely knew that I would see through any lies, but it was obvious that he had no desire to tell me the absolute truth of his actions. My expression was insistent as he considered his words, only increasingly his discomfort.

“Clarke was in danger. I couldn’t sit by and do nothing.” He muttered quietly in a poor attempt at an excuse and an involuntary pang of pain struck in my chest. The longer that he hid the truth of his feelings from me, the more I became convinced that they were something he needed to hide and I felt as if I were losing my mind.

“The last thing that you said to me is that you wouldn’t take any unnecessary risks, Bellamy. How does that end with you almost getting yourself killed for Clarke, again?!” I interrogated, fixing him with a disappointed expression and I felt his posture stiffen as he became defensive. 

“I thought that I could get in and out without any trouble. It was a necessary risk. She’s one of us, Indie. I couldn’t just leave her to be killed!” He argued, his voice rising slightly and I sighed as I realised that this was already becoming heated. After our last fight, I was reluctant to let things devolve to that level again, but I knew that if I didn’t address this issue then it would only grow to poison things between us and so I took a deep breath to confront him.

“But that doesn’t mean that you have to throw your life away for her!” I reminded him, desperate to prompt him to understand why his actions were unreasonable and he looked away from me awkwardly, like a child that had been scolded. A few tense moments of silence passed as we both struggled to find something to say and I knew that I needed to get to the root of my feelings if I were going to inspire him to reveal his true emotions in return. “Are you unhappy?” I whispered in a vulnerable manner, fidgeting with my hands nervously and he glanced back at me in wide eyed disbelief. “You seem like you’re always in such a hurry to throw your life away, like it means nothing to you. But your life means everything to me. I can’t lose you again, Bellamy, not ever. So if I have to let you go to stop you from doing that, then I will-”

“No! Of course not. I swear to you that I’m not trying to get away from anything. I _want_ to be with you. You give me a reason to keep fighting.” He asserted, taking my hands in his and I sniffed back tears, afraid of revealing the depth of hurt that I felt in this moment. This fear was a secret, hidden part of me that I had convinced myself would only push him away and it took a great deal of strength to allow him to see it.

“Then why do you always run to Clarke like she is everything that you need?” I whispered, finally forming my feelings into a single direct question and he frowned at the accusation, as if he’d never even considered how his dependence on her might be interpreted. My heartbeat hammered in my chest, echoing into my ears from its power as terror overwhelmed me and a voice in my mind screamed that I had foolishly opened the conversation that would be the end of us. My anxiety was convinced that he was about to reveal his true feelings for Clarke and as I took a deep breath, he stared at me with an intensity that only worsened the fear as I waited for an answer that could potentially destroy me.

“Clarke is the only reason that I got you back. She took all of the risks. She secured an alliance with the grounders. She was the driving force behind leading the army to the Mountain. She did absolutely everything in her power to rescue you and it destroyed her. I can’t just abandon her after that. I feel like I owe her for all of my happiness.” He explained in a low, vulnerable voice and though there was still a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that he was not telling me everything, this answer felt like the most authentic that he had given me yet. I sighed deeply, feeling at least somewhat relieved by this explanation compared to the horrifying response that I had begun to expect and softened my tone before I spoke again.

“And that’s everything? There’s nothing else going on with you that you haven’t told me?” I suggested, allowing him one final opportunity to come clean about any skeletons that he has hidden in his closet and as he shook his head, I knew that I would have to accept that he would tell me when he was ready. “Okay. If you say so. I’m gonna tell you _again_ to stop doing this shit, though! You scared the hell out of me.” I muttered bitterly and he managed a tired smile as he pulled me close to place a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“I’m sorry, Love. I’ll try not to scare you again.” 


	8. 𝑈𝑛𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐺𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇs:** Dᴀʏs ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ Wᴀɴʜᴇᴅᴀ: Pᴀʀᴛ Tᴡᴏ & Yᴇ Wʜᴏ Eɴᴛᴇʀ Hᴇʀᴇ

The presence of Bellamy safely beside me provided me with a reasonably better sleep, but my mind swirled with thoughts that caused me to toss and turn throughout the night. The reports of his recklessness over Clarke continued to haunt me and despite his insistence that it was simply a result of misguided loyalty, my instincts examined his behaviour sceptically. 

There was no denying that he had been different ever since I first woke at Arkadia and though I was originally content to credit that to a combination of our shared happiness and the growth that he’d accomplished whilst we were parted, I now began to sense that there was a deeper cause that I was yet to uncover. It was endlessly frustrating to feel as if I were missing an invaluable piece of the puzzle, but after many attempts to pry the truth from him, I was certain that I could do little more than to support him until he felt ready to unburden himself. After all, there were still many secrets that I kept hidden from him, too.

We indulged in a slower process of preparing for the day this morning, as we both appreciated simply being in the others company. Bellamy’s movements were more delicate than usual, as he struggled around the room, but I knew from his stern expression that he was determined to manage alone and refrained from offering any help.

I stood in front of the mirror and made my best effort to prize my fingers through the matted hair that now reached my waist. It had never been my intention to allow it to grow to this extent, but there seemed to always be many more important concerns than personal grooming and I was only now realising how overdue I was for a cut. Bellamy crept into my view, standing behind me in the reflection of the glass with a smile and I hissed in pain as I attempted to untangle a particularly stubborn knot.

“You know, I feel like this would make things much easier.” He crooned, holding something up for me to examine that made me immediately whip around to face him in shock. With every visit to Mount Weather, I’d forgotten to search for the one item that I desperately needed for myself as I focused on the requirements of camp and Bellamy waved around the hairbrush with a satisfied smile.

“Come here.” He suggested, hobbling over to perch on the bed and patting the space in front of him. I quirked a brow at him questioningly, unsure why he imagined that I couldn’t manage my locks myself and he shook his head at me. “If you think the front is matted, you should see the back.” He chuckled teasingly, patting the space where he wanted me to join him again and as my hands shot up to the back of my head to feel the hair there, I knew that he hadn’t been lying. I released a frustrated groan as I flopped into place between his legs obediently.

At first I felt tense, sitting up rigidly straight as he battled through my developing dreadlocks and it was obvious that he could sense how guarded I had been around him since he returned home. The only sound between us was the grating of the brush as he worked and I chewed on my lip in an attempt to prevent my emotions from surfacing. 

“You’ve let it get so long, Inds.” He commented idly as he methodically worked down to the frail, split ended tips and I hummed quietly in response. It was challenging to maintain my controlled demeanour under his gentle touch and it wasn’t long before I found myself leaning back into his warmth. I couldn’t understand why regardless of how much distress he’d caused me, I was always vulnerable to his charms and he consistently retained his position as my strongest source of comfort. He was remarkably tender in how he treated the knots, untangling them with the minimal amount of discomfort and the bristles felt strangely soothing due to the way that he slowly dragged them across my scalp, almost like a massage.

“You seem like you know what you’re doing?” I muttered casually, already losing control of my silent approach and felt a chuckle on my back as I leaned against his chest. He had easily noticed that I was gradually relaxing and seemed rather satisfied by his effect on me.

“I used to take care of Octavia’s hair.” He explained in a light tone and I felt a smile fill my face at the thought of this. “Learned to do ponytails, bunches, braids. All part of big brother duties.” He added defensively, delighting me with the mental image of him and Octavia as children, him meticulously braiding her chocolate coloured locks.

As the knots became fewer, he chose to thread his fingers through my hair instead, causing him to brush the tips along my scalp and down my spine in long motions that made me shiver. I couldn’t tell any longer if he’d been subtly inching closer to me whilst he worked, or whether I was being drawn to him like a magnet, but every single contact between us felt like it was charged with electricity. His body was distractingly hot against mine, lulling my walls down against my better judgement and I became pliable as usual in his hands. 

“You know, we might have some graders around to shorten this back up for you.” He grumbled, his voice already several pitches lower as he traced along the shorter hairs on the left side of my parting and I knew without a doubt now that he was precisely aware of his tactical seduction. My next breath was sharp as his lips brushed my ear and I felt my heartbeat quicken involuntarily. “I miss your punky look. It was sexy as hell.” He whispered, his hot breath travelling down the side of my face until it reached my neck and gave me goose bumps all over my skin.

I gulped down the attraction that I felt, desperate to maintain control of myself, but Bellamy had absolutely no intention of making this a simple goal. Threading my hair behind my ear to grant himself full access to my neck, he began trailing featherlight kisses from my ear all the way down to my collarbone, with each delicate touch lingering for slightly longer and I felt my breath catch in my throat. One of his arms looped around my waist, pulling me in closer to him and I felt as if I were melting. My head drooped back onto his shoulder, as I realised that I was hardly able to resist him any longer and as if sensing my imminent defeat, he hooked a hand under my chin to bring my gaze to him.

“Hey. You're getting freckles. Must be all of that time outside.” He breezed, studying my face as if it were a sight that he would never tire of and I sighed deeply in contentment. It was utterly charming that he noticed such tiny details about my appearance and the romantic part of my mind was already discarding my injured feelings from yesterday, revelling in his handsome allure. 

“I guess it had to happen eventually.” I muttered, my voice emerging raspy and clearly distracted, and Bellamy smiled as he inched his face closer to mine. “We match now.” I added, unconsciously biting my lip with arousal as I stared into his deep brown eyes and felt as if I were already drunk on him. His nose bumped mine as he closed the barely noticeable space between us, causing my heart to hammer hard enough that I worried it might burst out of my chest.

“Of course we do, Love. You’re  _ my _ girl.” He drawled, his lips ghosting over mine tauntingly and making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Pausing in place, he allowed himself to revel in his inevitable victory as I longed for him and I could easily recognise that any of the awkwardness that had been present in our interactions overnight had completely dissipated. His hands navigated their way through my fresh locks and settled on the back of my neck, tracing little circles into my skin. I felt as if I could hardly breathe from my desire and just as his lips finally met mine with a pressure so minimal that I could barely feel them, a pounding on the door drove us apart.

“Can you two lovebirds hurry up! We’re all getting armed up to head out already!” Raven’s sharp voice was a rallying call, radiating her impatience even through the wall and though it was soul destroying to do, I quickly slid away from Bellamy to allow myself the space to think without his sly temptations clouding my decisions. 

“We’d better make a move. We don’t want to make her ask twice.” I stuttered, clearing my throat as I rushed to my feet and the moment that I moved from his personal space, I felt able to concentrate again, almost as if emerging from a trance. 

Bellamy stood far more gradually, making his reluctance to leave abundantly clear and I could tell that he was already considering whether he could convince me to shirk my duties in favour of time alone. I was unusually ignorant of our task for the day, as I’d been too lost in thought to properly absorb the details yesterday and simply insisted on joining because I felt that I couldn’t trust Bellamy to return without issue otherwise. 

Hurrying around the space to collect my things, I could sense that he remained close to me, as if he were stalking his prey and I made my best effort to ignore him, knowing that even making eye contact could allow him to pull me back under his spell. I slipped on my jacket, flicking my newly smoothed hair out from inside it, then bent over to tie my boots and almost immediately as I did this, I felt his hands graze my rear as he passed to fetch his own guard uniform. Once I’d finished dressing, I marched straight toward the door without even glancing in his direction and had actually managed to touch the door handle when I was intercepted.

Bellamy slammed me into the wall, pinning me against the surface with the pressure of his body and I felt suffocated as his lips collided with mine. His kiss was rougher than usual, filled with raw hunger that was unfamiliar on him and I felt as if he were overwhelming my senses. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once as they deftly slipped under my clothes, grasping at any part of my body that they desired and he wasted no time in tangling his tongue with mine.

My reaction was almost purely instinctual, as he lifted me into his grip allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist and I kissed him back fervently. Our surroundings and responsibilities ceased to matter in the moment, as I became lost in him and all doubts about his feelings for me fizzled away into white noise under the passion that he radiated. I threaded my fingers into his thick, curly locks, anchoring myself against him before a groan escaped my lips, seeming to only further spur him on. I was becoming light headed from the length of the kiss, every part of my body tingling with anticipation and my stomach flipped as he pushed even harder against me, thrilling with this rare surge of dominance.

I could quite happily have hidden in our room all day now, tangled up in the bedsheets with no regard for the outside world and would have willingly faced the consequences later on, but after a few moments of reckless lust, he pulled away from me with a visible desire in his eyes. The disappointment that I felt filled my expression, as I was desperate to cling to the moment and I noticed an amused smirk on his lips as he examined me.

“Leave some for later, Trouble.” He drawled, nuzzling his nose against mine before he finally released me and I returned to Earth with a thud. “Come on.” He added encouragingly, taking my hand to lead me out of the room and I sighed in frustration as I followed him, unamused by his untimely dedication to his responsibilities. 

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

“How much further to the meeting point?” Harper groaned in a childish manner from the front of our group, voicing the concert that we all felt as we trudged through the mud with aching feet. The cold wind nipped at my skin, only further fuelling my bitter attitude and I could hardly stand the contrast between my current activities and that which I’d been blissfully engaged in this morning. At this moment, I’d have given anything to have returned to our quarters with Bellamy, instead of following orders to an unknown location for some entirely unnecessary welcome party. 

“Not far now. The Rover should already have arrived to load supplies and prep the others for the return journey.” Kane called impatiently, leading the group alongside Bellamy with his usual air of authority and I rolled my eyes at his unhelpful response. 

Though I understood that we did not possess enough vehicles to transport all of the remaining residents of Farm Station, I still resented being forced to walk the extensive distance to their base and had to remind myself that the effort was worth it to recover our people. We hadn’t yet clarified how we would manage escorting them, but it seemed that Kane was determined to make the best possible impression in welcoming them to Arkadia and I had to wonder whether negotiations were perhaps not as smooth as he had presented them to be.

“You okay, Indie?” Monty chimed, falling into step with me with a surprisingly bright disposition and I nodded in response, unwilling to fall into discussion about all of the issues I was currently carrying. He furrowed his brows at me in suspicion, clearly already sensing that I was being avoidant and I ensured that I pretended to be distracted in a bid not to meet his eyes whilst he scrutinised me.

“You want to tell your face that?” Miller suggested from my other side, a slight sneer spreading across his features which could only be suitably answered with a subtly offensive hand gesture whilst Kane was too distracted to notice. “You look like you sucked on a lemon. Just saying.” He added with a nonchalant shrug and it took all of my self control to keep myself from purposely tripping him over. Though we’d developed a mutual respect, I wasn’t sure that I would describe what we had as a friendship and as a result, we both often managed to grate on each other’s nerves. Still, it was a vast improvement from our constant fighting that had taken place in our original camp and I was mostly content with it. 

“Since when were you two all sunshine and rainbows?” I groaned, glancing between Monty and Miller with confusion and I noticed that they shared a similarly hopeful smile beyond me. It was somewhat disconcerting, as I mostly enjoyed being able to depend on them for dark humour and to indulge my negative moods, and this level of optimism felt alien. When they simply chuckled instead of providing an explanation, I turned to Monty with my brows raised insistently to convey my distress and he shook his head at me with amusement. 

“We’re bringing my mom home today.” He stated, a wide smile overtaking his face that I’d never seen him wear before and it quickly became contagious, as I felt my heart swell at the sight of it. I could hardly believe that we would be fortunate enough to witness a family reunion and though I thought better of asking about his father, I knew that the fact he hadn’t mentioned him likely meant the worst. 

“Monty, that’s great!” I breathed with genuine joy flooding my voice and he beamed in response. For a few seconds, I felt as if I could burst into tears from the revelation and was overwhelmed with relief that Monty might finally receive some desperately needed support. “I’m so happy for you. You’re well overdue for some good news.” I enthused, patting his arm fondly as I swallowed my emotions and he nodded in agreement.

“It’s not just me either. Miller’s bringing his man home, too.” He clarified with a sly smile at the man in question and I turned to face Miller with my brows raised in surprise over the fact that he’d kept this information quiet. He rolled his eyes in disapproval of Monty’s description and cleared his throat in an effort to appear more masculine. 

“Dude. You make it weird when you call him that. His name is Bryan.” He grumbled awkwardly, seeming embarrassed that he was being exposed as capable of caring for someone other than himself and after enduring many scalding burns about Bellamy from him in the past, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to harass him in return now. 

“Wow. I’ve just realised why you were so disinterested in everyone in our original camp.” I drawled, pouting arrogantly in my newfound knowledge as I studied him and he raised a single brow at me in annoyed anticipation. “I never imagined you to be such a committed man, Miller. He must be quite the hottie to keep you so focused.” I winked, eager to discover more details about his type of man and he simply groaned in disapproval at my prying. For a while, I’d suspected that he had a thing for Bellamy as a result of his unwavering loyalty, but as we both grew to understand each other better in Mount Weather, I realised that he was simply doing what he thought best for his survival, just like the rest of us.

“I know that’s all  _ you _ think about, but Bryan’s more than that to me. Not all of us commit ourselves to a relationship with the person who makes our blood boil the most, Indie.” Miller remarked with a pointed look at me and I reached out to punch his arm, whilst Monty snorted in laughter.

“He’s got you there.” Monty muttered between chuckles and I glanced at him in offense over my shoulder. “Come on. The foundation of yours and Bellamy’s relationship is basically sexual tension and mutual dislike of each other.” He jabbed, bumping into my side playfully and I gasped, leaving my mouth agape as they both cackled either side of me in satisfaction.

“You two suck. You know that, right?” I mumbled, shaking my head in disapproval as I stomped along in my role as their prime source of amusement for the journey. I lost track of how long we walked, staring at the gradually shifting landscape as we neared Azgeda territory and my mind wandered to fill the time, quietly listening to the pockets of conversation around me when people regularly switched up their positions to chat. 

When we finally arrived at the rendezvous point, we were instructed to form a protective barrier around a structure that seemed too small to house anyone and I questioned whether whomever was now leading the survivors was purposely hiding the location of their base from the threat of Ark rule. I held the large gun uncomfortably, for the first time performing in an actual guards role since I had accepted the position and felt uneasy as I considered how bizarre of an outcome this was for me. 

Kane seemed more antsy than usual as he awaited the arrival of the Farm station leader and I glanced over at the three boys who had previously met the small unit that had come across them in the woods sceptically. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was that felt wrong, but there was something in the atmosphere that felt as if this reintegration of our people was a more delicate balancing act than our leaders wished to divulge. 

Eventually, the sounds of movement and muffled conversation could be heard in the distance and I turned to find that Kane was gathering us all toward him. He beckoned me to join them when I didn’t automatically follow suit and I wandered over with a tempered interest.

“We have discussed the best way to manage the movement of Farm station’s people and it seems that we’re dealing with a far higher number of survivors than we first anticipated.” He opened, addressing his small but intrigued audience and I listened intently to every word that he shared with us. 

“We don't have the space to house all of them within Arkadia, but following the Chancellor’s decision to reopen the medical facility in the mountain, it has been decided that we will use the available dormitories there as accommodations. At least until we can arrange a more permanent solution.” Kane explained, speaking in a careful, diplomatic manner and I felt my mouth drop open in shock. 

There were a few moments of silence as we all processed this information and I examined the faces around me in the hope that someone else would take a turn at pointing out the stupidity of this suggestion for once. Just as I had resigned myself to fulfilling this role again, Bellamy cleared his throat.

“With all due respect, Counsellor… are we sure that’s a good idea?” He investigated in a calm manner that ensured that he presented himself as respectful and I noticed that several of the others seemed pleased that someone had aired our concerns. “We’ve maintained peace for a while now by treading carefully. This could be seen as a pretty major insult to the Commander. Not sure that the coalition will survive if she ignores a challenge like that.” He reasoned, causing a surge of pride within me as I realised that he had absorbed more of my teachings about the grounders than I gave him credit for and I smiled at him subtly.

“The Chancellor and I feel that it is time for us to arrange a meeting with the Commander. Hopefully, Indigo, you can assist us in doing that.” Kane explained, smiling politely toward me and I released an involuntary scoff at the suggestion. It seemed that regardless of how many times I had insisted that this was beyond my ability, the council was just as ignorant as it had always been to any degree of criticism. 

“We will present all of the benefits of reopening the facility and explain how it could be used to improve the quality of life for her people. We hope that this will be enough to at least gain us the time to begin securing alternative accommodations for Farm stations people, if needed.” He added confidently and I rolled my eyes at his blatant disregard of all conflicting advice.

“And you plan on saying what? We understand your beliefs and culture, but we think that you’re too stupid to understand modern medicine so we’re just going to do it anyway? I’m sure that won’t get us killed.” I drawled, crossing my arms over my chest with frustration as I stared him down and his expression faltered for a moment as he viewed me. There had been many occasions in the time that I’d worked with Kane where I’d caught a flicker of annoyance in his face and I could sense it within him now. However, he still seemed to find me valuable enough to be worth the trouble and I wondered when the exhaustion of my attitude would finally outweigh whatever benefits he imagined that having me on the council provided.

“It will be a more complicated negotiation than that, I’m sure, but I can promise you that it is absolutely not our intention to cause a war with the grounders. We’re simply trying to take care of our people.” He answered strategically and I quirked a brow at him. Unfortunately, the Ark had a colourful past when it came to caring for its people and it was difficult for me to take this statement seriously.

“Let’s hope that we don’t end up causing one  _ unintentionally _ , then.” I stated, giving him a significant look and there was an amused glimmer in his eyes as he studied me.

“Enough politics for one day.” He commented as he returned his attention to the group as a whole and I braced myself for whatever came next. “One group will escort the people who have been selected for duties in Arkadia to their new home. We’ll be receiving a significant boost to our guard ranks, which will mean that you’ll be busy getting all recruits onto the same page soon, Bellamy. We’ve also been given recommendations of people with the skills for mechanical, medical and, most importantly, plenty of farming expertise, so we can look forward to better meals in future.” He explained in a charismatic manner, earning a warm reception from the surrounding guard unit.

“Raven’s unit have loaded the Rover and will manage the journey of this group, whilst we escort the bulk of the survivors to Mount Weather. It’s a long hike and we want to make sure that we have our best on hand, in case of any conflicts along the way. They’re already on their way to us now, so once they arrive, we’ll be setting off. Take a chance to rest now. We won’t get another for some time.” He instructed, allowing a collective feeling of dread to spread through all of us at the thought of the walk that was ahead, but before anyone could get a word out in response, he turned suddenly as if he’d only just noticed the arrival of someone important. I noticed that Bellamy followed him, but before I could catch a glimpse of the person that Kane seemed so keen to host, Harper nudged my side.

“They really want to house people in that hellhole? After everything that happened down there, there is no amount of home comforts that could make me want to stay there. Then again, I guess Farm have no idea what they’re getting into. They’ll probably find it just as amazing as we did at first.” She rambled thoughtfully and I flashed her an understanding smile, squeezing her arm to provide her with the emotional support that I could tell was much needed. “I suppose we’re not much better in Arkadia. Our people really have a thing for moving into places where hundreds of people died, huh?” She quipped, braving a smile in an effort to lighten the mood and I nodded reluctantly in agreement. 

“I’m not sure there’s any other kind of place left.” I pointed out with a shrug and she seemed to be unable to counter this logic.

A hauntingly familiar voice caught my attention as Kane began to make his way back over to us and as I strained to get a look at his new guest, I felt my stomach churn into knots.

“Charles, this is your escort for the trip. They’re some of our best recruits, so your people will be in good hands.” Kane presented us to his guest with a sweeping gesture and obvious sense of pride, but I could hardly think straight as the person that he guided to us finally stepped into my view. 

My recognition of him was both immediate and unpleasant, causing a sense of repulsion to surge through my entire body at the sight of his usual snide expression. In all of my nightmares I’d endured about the possible repercussions of the Ark’s arrival on Earth, I had never imagined that I would be unfortunate enough to meet Charles Pike again. I could hardly believe that out of all the good people that had been lost, some like him had been blessed enough to be spared and the way that he stared down his nose at us whilst we stood in front of him, all gathered similar to some kind of regal honour guard made me feel sick.

“This is your crew, Blake?” Pike investigated, turning to address Bellamy with fondness and I was promptly incensed by the warm manner in which Bellamy nodded back at him. “You’ve done well. I always knew that you would.” He praised, a wide smile stretching his treacherous mouth and I could hardly contain the vitriol that threatened to escape me.

“Bellamy!” I hissed, the sharpness of my tone catching him off guard and he whipped his gaze to me in confusion. “You know him?” I growled, refusing to meet Pike’s eyes as he finally noticed me amongst the guards and I could feel that he was as rattled by my presence as I was by his. 

“Pike taught me for years back on the Ark. He’s known me since I was a kid.” Bellamy spoke with his brows deeply furrowed as he examined me and I hummed in response. My expression alone was enough to convey my disgust with this interaction, but he seemed perplexed by my attitude, as if he couldn’t imagine anyone taking issue with the man.

“Cute. Tell me, did he beat you black and blue too, or were you lucky enough to get your lessons in verbal form?” I accused, crossing my arms defensively as I tilted my head at him and I felt Harper growing guarded at my side, as recognition finally struck her too. Miller simply hissed from behind, equally as uncomfortable around the man who had caused such distress for us all and I was relieved to have them both with me for backup. Bellamy glanced between Pike and I in disbelief, seeming more confused than ever and the tension in the air between us all was palpable.

“Now, hold on a minute. I remember the incident that you’re referring to and you have to know that was a misunderstanding-” Pike held up his hands as he stepped toward me in an effort to control the damage of my revelations and I scoffed loudly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is that what you call attacking a teenage boy? Because I call it assault and I’m pretty sure that's simple enough to understand. I’m really not sure where the confusion lies.” I snapped, gritting my teeth as my anger grew and I could tell that this would truly test the limits of my newfound self control. Injustice had always been a fierce trigger of mine, but standing before a man who it seemed now held so much power whilst he denied his cruel actions was a sin that I couldn’t ignore. 

“Indigo, calm yourself down. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for all of this.” Kane started, attempting to temper the situation before it sparked out of control and although I was frustrated that he would even moderately defend Pike, I was pleased that he seemed interested in hearing both sides of the story. “Charles, can you shed some light on this incident?” He enquired, thinning his eyes at Pike and I levelled him with a withering stare as I awaited his explanation.

“It was their final lesson and as usual, none of them were interested.” He opened up, his posture conveying his frustration at having to explain his actions and I felt my dislike for the man growing with every word that he spoke. “The council made it very clear that I was not permitted to tell the kids why they needed to care, so I tried another tactic.” He excused, shrugging as if the experience was being overblown and I shook my head with heavy disapproval. I opened my mouth to clarify that this method had little effect, when he interrupted with a comment that could only be intended to make my blood boil. “Maybe if they’d been willing to listen, more of your friends would have survived.” He offered as he turned to address me directly with a remorse that was so disingenuous that it caused the last of my restraint to collapse within me.

“You son of a bitch!” I snarled, lurching toward him without any warning and he jumped back as if escaping from a feral animal. Kane and Bellamy quickly leapt into action, each taking a role in blocking me from reaching my target and I thrashed against them at the whims of my temper.

“You really think that you know it all, don’t you? The wise teacher, assigned with the all important task of preparing us sacrificial lambs. You have no concept of the fact that the people we lost  _ meant _ something. They were people’s sons and daughters. They loved people. They weren’t just fucking lab rats to pave the way for all of you ‘holier than thou’ bastards to follow. They died in pain, terrified and alone all so that you wouldn't have to take the risk for yourselves. You all chose to come down here because we had already confirmed that Earth was survivable, but we didn’t get a choice! You discarded us like worthless trash and now you have the audacity to disrespect the ones who couldn’t endure, as if they didn’t fight for their lives up until their last breath. How fucking dare you!” I could hardly get a breath in between the vicious words that spilled out of my mouth, finally shedding the emotions that I had carried since the first moment that I had discovered the council's intentions for us and even Kane seemed shocked by the impact of my accusations.

“None of that was my decision.” Pike argued, desperately attempting to salvage his reputation as the group around him descended into chaos and displaying yet again the selfish nature of his concerns in the face of my revelations. “I tried to save them.” He added defensively, glancing at those around me and I laughed darkly at the sheer ridiculous nature of this statement.

“You think that knowing how to hunt, or build a fire, or to navigate with the stars would have saved us?” I breathed in disbelief and the naïve expression that he wore only further fuelled my anger. 

“From the moment that we landed we were at war, with no weapons, no supplies and no leadership. Just a bunch of minors in the woods against an army of trained warriors. Jasper was speared through the chest and hung up as bait on our  _ first day _ . It was a miracle that he survived, but there were countless others that weren’t so lucky. Roma was speared to a tree. Diggs got impaled by a booby trap. Atom was horrifically burned by acid fog. Drew got slaughtered as we ran for our lives from an army that was sent to wipe us out. Mbege had his throat slit and Wells was stabbed to death simply for looking too much like his father.” I began to recount our losses methodically, causing a heavy silence to fall upon the group as they absorbed the severity of our experiences, the leadership for the first time. The grip on my arms loosened as Bellamy and Kane realised that I no longer felt the need to physically attack Pike as I shifted to cutting with my words.

“Many more of us passed from sickness, when the grounders decided to infiltrate us with biological warfare by sending in one of our people who they had mercilessly tortured. Those that couldn’t recover drowned in their own blood and there was nothing that we could do to help them. We watched  _ children _ die. Derek was the first person infected who succumbed to it’s cruelty. He was only sixteen. But he wasn't the worst young death among us. Miles was fifteen and he begged me to let him die because he couldn’t endure the pain of his injuries. Charlotte took her own life, when she couldn’t overcome the trauma that life on the Ark caused her. She was  _ twelve _ .” I paused for a moment to sniff back tears, unwilling to allow my voice to break.

“After all of that, somehow we managed to survive our battle with the grounders, only to be captured by the mountain. Fox and another seven of our group were harvested for their bone marrow and tossed aside. They drilled into them until they died. They used no pain relief, gave no comfort and ignored them as they screamed for mercy.” I continued to rant, my gaze unfaltering on Pike’s gradually shrinking form as I bombarded him with information in the hope of causing him to feel some semblance of the overwhelming hopelessness that we had endured over these long months.

“And you think that locking us all in a classroom and beating the absolute shit out of Murphy, after you humiliated him by exposing his past like it was just a game to you, was going to prepare us for any part of that? Get a fucking grip, you self absorbed asshat.” I spat, finally pausing to catch my breath and allowing us all to lapse into silence, as everyone struggled to find anything to say that could possibly clear the tension.

“I did it to teach you a lesson that the rest of your class clearly wasn’t learning. I had one day left and I did the only thing that I could think of to make you understand the grit that it would take to survive what was coming.” Pike spoke up, providing another list of hollow excuses and I rolled my eyes at his continued desire to save face.

“If you gave even the slightest shit about our survival, you would have told us what was coming, whatever the consequences. But you didn’t, because you had to make sure that you remained alive, just in case we succeeded. Didn’t you?” I calculated, determined not to allow him to talk his way out of the scrutiny that was currently being directed at him and, finally unable to face me any longer, he turned his attention to Bellamy.

“Other than her and your sister, none of them were even paying attention.” He excused, desperately appealing to Bellamy’s previous warmth and I felt my temper rising again at this tactic. Pike was clearly unaware of the risk that he was taking by toying with Bellamy right in front of me and I knew that if I had any idea of our relationship, he’d have chosen his target more carefully. “I was trying to save them. My hands were tied and I resorted to shock value. It was the only thing that I knew would engage them.”

“Bullshit! You were drunk on the responsibility that the council had given you. You saw an opportunity to be important, just like every other power hungry, self serving official on the Ark. Maybe I should teach you a lesson the same way that you did for all of us.” I growled, as I surged forward in a flare of temper and though Bellamy was too distracted by his own confliction to notice me, Kane was quick to take my shoulders in his hands and march me backward. 

“That’s enough! This is not how we do things.” He stated assertively, taking care of the situation now that he’d moved past his shock and his reaction seemed to prompt Bellamy from his torn state too. Bellamy gently removed Kane’s grip as he steered me away from the group with a subtle smile back at him to indicate that he would deal with me.

“You need to calm down, Indie. You won’t earn any favour from Kane by causing him issues.” He advised under his breath, glancing back at the others with a tired expression as we moved to a distance where we could talk privately and his choice of words had the opposite effect to what he desired.

“I don’t give a shit about Kane’s favour!” I spat, shrugging his hands from me aggressively and shifting out of his space. Though I knew that I had allowed myself to be puppeted by my emotions again, I forgave myself somewhat for the extremity of the circumstances that stimulated this reaction and began pacing around in an effort to channel some of my frustrated energy. 

“If you think that I’m going to allow  _ that man _ to waltz in here like the lord and fucking saviour of Farm station just so that Kane can play the perfect diplomatic leader, then you don’t know me at all.” I argued accusingly and Bellamy released a deep sigh as he studied me, bringing a hand to the back of his neck in a familiar uncomfortable gesture.

“Have you ever thought that maybe you don’t know Pike?” He suggested, squirming nervously as he spoke and I stared back at him in sheer disbelief. As charismatic as Pike was, it was insane to me that Bellamy would even consider defending him in the face of such charges and I stuttered in an effort to find any words for a response.

“Look, I get why you’re upset. What he did was out of order, it gave you a really shitty first impression and I understand that seeing him again out of the blue after that would flip you out. All I’m saying is that none of us are the people that we were on the Ark. Pike and the rest of Farm station have been at war with Azgeda for months and they all credit him as the main reason that they survived. He could be an asset to us, a very valuable one considering everything that you’ve said about Azgeda plotting recently.” He offered, gesturing frequently with his hands as he always did when he thought that he was doing something wrong and I crooked a brow at him sceptically.

“People change, Love. Give him some time before you throw him to the wolves.” He breathed in a tone that revealed he had little remaining energy to fight with me and I scoffed loudly at this request.

“People like him never change. They just get better at hiding what they are.” I insisted bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest to toughen my posture and he shook his head at me. “Next thing you’ll be telling me that you’re best friends with Murphy.” I grumbled, pouting in a show of rebellion and he couldn’t contain an amused smile. “You know, Pike gave me the black eye that I had when we met.” I pointed out in a childish jab at turning his opinion and although he raised his brows in surprise, I could tell from the playful twinkle in his eyes that I had been unsuccessful.

“I’m starting to think that I’m the only person who hasn’t at this point.” He chuckled, finally breaking the tension that hung in the air and the fire in my chest slowly doused itself. “You realise that you have a serious problem with authority, Inds. Guards, council members and even teachers now. Is there anyone on the Ark other than O that you actually got along with?” He asked, nudging me teasingly as he tried to encourage a smile out of me and though I appreciated the light humour, I couldn’t help feeling that he was distracting me from his lack of willingness to trust my word.

“Bellamy, I’m serious.” I asserted, pausing from the relaxed wander that we’d subconsciously began back toward the group and he glanced down at me with his brows furrowed. “I know a snake when I see one. You can’t trust him.” I stated firmly, keen to ensure that he understood me and he sighed reluctantly, before stepping closer to me. His large stature blocked me from the view of the others and he took my hands in his as he addressed me.

“I hear you. You don’t like the guy. I get it.” He confirmed, easing the knot in my stomach for a moment and I released a breath that I didn’t even realise I had been holding from stress. “But you’ll have to let me form my own opinion on this one. I’ll be careful with him, I promise.” He clarified in a softer tone, delicately stroking my hands to comfort me and I furrowed my brows at him. 

“I guess that’s all I can ask for, then.” I conceded, feeling deeply unsettled by this result and he smiled warmly at me. Placing a light kiss on my forehead, he seemed content that this conversation was over and made his way over to Kane to do damage control. 

I could feel eyes on me as I stood alone at the edge of our group and turned to find Pike watching me apprehensively. As soon as our eyes met, I hardened my expression to convey without a single word that I would be watching his every move from here onward.


	9. 𝐷𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑒

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I only just returned from a break but I feel like it’s better that I am honest with you guys instead of trying to force myself to do things that I realistically won’t be able to do.
> 
> My posting schedule may be chaotic over the next 2-3 weeks. I’m gonna try my best to stick to it but am lowkey having a mental breakdown so, I don't know.
> 
> One week from yesterday should have been our wedding day. But thanks to Covid, instead we’re not even allowed to leave our flat.
> 
> I’ve been coping pretty well with it until now by distraction, but as the actual date approaches I’m devolving into just crying 24 hours a day.
> 
> My plan is to distract myself with writing, but I honestly can’t anticipate how I’m gonna feel even from minute to minute right now.
> 
> I really don’t want to let anyone down and I love sharing my stories more than anything, they’ve been a life saver over the absolute crock of crap that was 2020. We’ll just have to see how this next rollercoaster goes!
> 
> This story is not over by a long shot, but it might be absent for a while. Thanks for sticking with me so far, your support means more than I can even put into words.

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇs:** Dᴀʏs ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ Wᴀɴʜᴇᴅᴀ: Pᴀʀᴛ Tᴡᴏ & Yᴇ Wʜᴏ Eɴᴛᴇʀ Hᴇʀᴇ

“I can’t  **believe** we have to transport this asshole.” Harper muttered, barely loud enough for me to hear and I felt a small smile spread across my lips. 

I’d been relegated to the back of the group for the actual travel after my outburst and she seemed quite content to remain back here with me, as far from Pike as possible.

“I’m glad that you said what you did. People deserve to know what he’s really like underneath this whole reasonable leader act.” She expressed, her tone full of genuine support and I smiled gratefully at her. 

It was difficult for me to contain my frustration at being forced to protect a man who I could hardly stand looking at, so I’d remained unusually quiet since we first started moving. At least for the time being, it felt as if she was the only thing keeping me sane as she made her best attempts to keep me distracted.

“Men like him are adaptable. Whatever it takes to worm their way into power.” I grumbled under my breath, staring at the back of his shiny, bald head with anger bubbling in my stomach. 

Though I’d had very limited contact with him, even on the Ark, I’d known plenty of men like him in my lifetime and it seemed painfully obvious to me that his rise to leader of the survivors was no accident. 

“We just have to be patient. His mask will slip eventually.” I confirmed, glancing over at her to flash her a meaningful look and she hummed in agreement.

All of the guards had been split into small pockets to surround the large group of farm station survivors and I couldn’t help feeling that this tactic would only make it easier to divide and conquer us if they should choose to. Kane led the pack with Pike, talking warmly as if they were old friends that were pleased to be reunited and I noticed that I was grinding my teeth in aggravation as I watched them. 

Not for the first time, I was glad that I had spent enough time with Arlo to have a stronger control over my emotions and knew that if I had encountered Pike before, it would have caused a far more violent series of events. 

Hours passed as we walked for miles toward Mount Weather and our charges seemed to be in high spirits, chatting merrily as if they were travelling toward paradise. I remained quietly simmering, despite the constant shift in positioning that allowed me to vary my company and focused on keeping my raging temper contained in my mind. 

Bellamy gave me a wide berth, especially after I caught sight of him talking with Pike and shot him a nasty glare. Whatever sexual tension had been brewing between us this morning had now dissolved into annoyance and I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to put my feelings aside once we were alone. If anything, I simply imagined that it would be a challenge for me to refrain from tossing insults at him once there was no one left to behave myself around and I tried to convince myself in advance that this would bring me no peace.

Pike had unfortunately begun making the rounds, checking on each of his people and I overheard him informing them that we weren’t far from our destination now. I rolled my eyes at his forced attentiveness and noticed that Miller dropped slightly behind the others so that he was nearer to me, thinning his eyes at Pike suspiciously. 

After a few moments, it became clear that he had detected the impending threat, as Pike gradually fell into step with me. It was incredulous to me that he could even begin to consider this choice a wise decision and quickly realised that his intentions could not possibly be positive, whether he intended to attempt to manipulate me, or bait me into attacking him. I felt myself stiffen up instinctively at his presence, my footsteps unconsciously developing into stomping and as I maintained my gaze on the distance to ignore him, I could feel that he was studying me from the side.

“I’m not surprised to find that you made it, Miss Sloan. You were always a survivor.” He commented in a manner that he clearly believed would flatter me and I scoffed under my breath at his arrogance. 

It always grated on me that anyone from the Ark, especially adults, could ever imagine that they knew anything about me and I couldn’t imagine what made him believe that he had earned the right to comment on a time period from which he was only aware of a small summary of events. 

“No thanks to you.” I spat, throwing him a scowl that would have sent a lesser man scampering for the hills and though he looked uncomfortable, he seemed determined that he would be able to win me over. In contrast, I simply prayed that he would leave me alone before I gave into my desire to beat him to a pulp.

“You already had everything that you needed before I met you. Gave me the biggest fight in class, too.” He excused, still attempting to praise his way out of this predicament and I crossed my arms as if physically attempting to contain the rage in my chest. 

Inwardly, I certainly wished that I’d been able to fight as well then as I could now and managed to gain a better handle on my anger by indulging in a brief daydream of the damage I could do if permitted. 

“And you gave me a black eye for my trouble.” I reminded him bitterly, ensuring that he didn't attempt to detract from the damage that this experience caused and he shuffled awkwardly at my point. 

“Believe me, you wouldn't get the chance now.” I added, the subtle threat escaping my control and instead of seeming flustered, he simply hummed to himself.

“I can only imagine how much you’ve grown since you got here.” He conceded, his tone annoyingly casual as if he was completely unaware of my disdain for him and I hummed in agreement. If he had even the slightest concept of my capabilities, I was certain that he would not risk an unsupervised conversation like this. 

“Unfortunately, the rest of the class weren’t as capable. They could have benefitted from a few more like you.” He complimented, causing me to roll my eyes at his blatantly forced praise and was disappointed when I realised that he still wasn’t done talking.

“Monty tells me that it was John Murphy who gave you that scar.” He commented, examining the mark in question and I felt my hands beginning to shake with anger at this tactic. 

It was an especially sensitive topic for me, even after all this time and I was actually aware of the risk of my patience snapping at any given moment now that he had mentioned it. 

“Funny how things turn out, isn’t it? You get yourself a black eye defending him, then he repays you by giving you that. Some kind of thank you.” He muttered tauntingly and I felt a surge of heart pass through my body as I battled to keep myself from lashing out.

Although I managed to fight down my urge to strike him, I couldn’t prevent myself from swiftly kicking my leg out to sweep him off his feet in a manoeuvre that I had practiced many times with Arlo. He crashed onto his front in the dirt with a satisfying yell and I straightened up quickly, continuing to stroll ahead as I hadn’t even noticed. Miller was the first to glance over his shoulder, subtly smirking at me, but barely moments later the others turned to investigate, led by an impatient Kane.

“What happened back there?” He called irritably in our direction, making it obvious that he was tired of my antics and I peeked back at Pike as if I’d only just noticed that he was there myself. 

He was coated in mud as he struggled back to his hands and knees, the sight almost causing me to crack a smile, but I managed to maintain my innocent expression as I turned back to Kane with a shrug.

“Oh. He tripped.” I breezed casually, giving my best effort to seem completely uninvolved and Kane furrowed his brows at me in disappointment, as he had many times in the past. 

I held my expression and his eye contact unflinchingly, before he turned to face Miller instead as a witness. The questioning that he gave him was silent, but no less intense and I could hardly breathe as Miller didn’t hesitate for a moment in backing me up.

“Simple misstep, Counsellor.” He confirmed evenly, the tone of his voice completely resolute and leaving no hint of dishonesty.

Kane was visibly sceptical as he peeked between us, allowing enough time for either of us to crack under the pressure that he applied, but soon decided that he lacked the energy to tackle my attitude again today. Instead, he marched past us both to assist Pike to his feet and guided him out of my reach protectively. 

Once alone, Miller slowly moved to my side, resuming the group's movement in perfect timing with me and I could sense his amusement, even as we both maintained our calm demeanour to ensure our air of innocence. After all, we couldn’t break our ruse moments after successfully avoiding the repercussions.

“Petty.” He mumbled in an entertained tone, not daring to shift his gaze from the distance as he played the part of the good soldier. Although every part of me longed to fall into our usual easy conversation, I followed his lead, aware that we would be carefully observed for the rest of the journey.

“Liar.” I hissed in return, struggling to keep a giggle from my voice and I felt the anger in me dissipating as a result of his support.

The rest of the journey passed quietly and much to my relief, Pike seemed to have finally learned his lesson to remain away from me. 

Once we arrived at our destination, I was assigned to wait outside to guard the entrance of the facility, whilst most of the guards assisted to escort the group inside and I noticed that Harper also volunteered for the same position, lining herself up on the other side of the doors. 

After everyone else had departed, I studied her questioningly and she sighed, allowing her walls to drop.

“I’m not going back in there unless I absolutely have to.” She commented quietly, seeming more shaken by her proximity to the facility than she allowed anyone else to see and I was honoured that she felt able to be honest with me. 

“Standing out in the woods is preferable any day, thank you.” She clarified, taking a deep breath of the fresh air and I shrugged in agreement.

Exhaustion began to wash over me as I waited, which was an expected result from an emotionally draining day and I found myself looking forward to returning home, despite knowing that today would have changed the dynamic even there. I wandered how the new members would affect camp life, as I reflected on Kane’s earlier statements about boosting up our guard numbers and hoped that the new recruits would be as willing to accept our way of life as the others had been.

We were eventually informed to make our way to the vehicle hangar and arrived to find that our guard group was already late into the process of preparing to leave, loading up our usual two vehicles that had returned from Arkadia. It seemed that Pike had chosen to remain with the majority of Farms people at Mount Weather and I couldn’t help feeling that this was a decision made to maintain his influence, rather than due to a concern for his followers. 

I climbed into the back of the Rover silently, easily sensing the tense atmosphere between us all and shuffled awkwardly along the bench as Bellamy slid into place next to me, closing the doors behind him.

“Let’s get moving, Raven.” 

He called to the driver's seat, where Harper was already keeping her company and I was surprised that Raven had been sent to collect us after such a long day already with half of the farm station recruits. I made a mental note to check on her again soon, as it seemed that even Gina was struggling to keep her from over working and hoped that I would be able to reach her this time.

“You alright, Inds?” Bellamy’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I glanced up to find him studying me closely. In the tight space of the Rover, he was uncomfortably packed against me and I knew that there was no way to have any kind of private discussion when we were all close enough to knock knees.

“Yeah. Just tired.” I muttered, unwilling to get into another emotional conversation about Pike with an audience and though he seemed unconvinced by my excuse, he decided to drop the topic.

I’d barely even noticed who else was present when I entered, until Bellamy began chatting to Miller, who was sitting beside an unfamiliar man who I could only assume from their posture was Brian. At any other time, I’d have been thoroughly intrigued by this new addition, but my ongoing feud with Pike had drained me of any remaining humour and I simply resolved to introduce myself to him at a later time. 

I glanced over to find Monty sitting with a woman who was clearly his mother, as he was the spitting image of her and smiled weakly at him, before returning my gaze to my feet to avoid making any conversation.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

“We’re home, Love.” 

I startled at the sudden sound of Bellamy’s voice and as he gently shook my shoulders, I realised that I had fallen asleep in the Rover. As I gradually blinked into consciousness, I found him smiling fondly at me and couldn’t suppress a yawn as I stretched out my limbs in the now empty back seats.

“Come on. Let’s get these weapons returned and get you to bed.” He chuckled as he assisted me out of the back doors due to my dizzy state and I rubbed at my eyes as I moved.

I felt as if I were simply going through the motions as I followed Bellamy through all of the routines to clock out of guard duty, primarily relying on my muscle memory to carry me and was glad when I could finally begin shuffling back toward our quarters with his arm over my shoulders protectively. Already, I felt more relaxed now that I knew I was away from Pike and could stop feeling as if I needed to maintain my guard at all times.

We wasted no time in undressing and climbing into bed, and I immediately snuggled up to Bellamy for comfort. I was heavily troubled by his earlier insistence that he would judge Pike for himself, deciding that I would have to be careful to reduce his time alone with the man as much as possible, but tried to remind myself that I trusted Bellamy to make the correct decision. After all, he’d managed to keep a large majority of our original camp alive despite ridiculous odds stacked against us.

It wasn’t long before I fell into a heavy slumber, only to be plagued with nightmares for most of the night of Pike beating Murphy in the classroom whilst we all watched helplessly. Though I knew that I had tried my best, the sounds of Murphy’s shock and desperation as Pike mercilessly attacked him were burned into my memory and despite my personal issues with the boy, the cruelty of the situation still left me shaking. No matter how many times I fought back in my dream, I wasn’t able to save him and the sounds became increasingly vivid with each repeat, until I was eventually feeling the hot splatter of blood on my face as Pike beat him into submission.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The early morning light broke into the room, illuminating Bellamy’s peacefully sleeping face with it’s gentle rays and I knew that I could sleep no longer. 

Fidgeting my way carefully out from under the covers, I padded across the floor in my thick boot socks and crept out of the room carefully to avoid waking him. I hadn’t had the chance to dress properly, having only risked slipping on his jacket for warmth over his huge t-shirt that I usually slept in and so I knew that I couldn’t go far, especially without any shoes. 

Needing to clear my mind, I began walking around the indoor sectors of the Ark, feeling a wave of nostalgia as I remembered how different it felt to walk these halls back when we were still in space. Sometimes it was easy to forget how much our lives had changed in such a short time and the wonder that we’d felt when we first arrived had already faded into normalcy.

Glancing out of the window, I was glad to find that no one else seemed to be up at this early hour and continued wandering laps as I strained to push the memory of Pike from my subconscious. I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly it was about seeing him that had shaken me so badly, but my stomach had been consistently heavy with dread ever since. My intuition told me that trouble was coming and I wished that I could form a better picture of exactly where it would arise first.

I almost walked right into someone in my distraction and jumped back in surprise to find Kane staring down at me in bemusement.

“Ah, Indigo. You’re up early?” He remarked, an amused smile filling his lips as he regarded the state of my clothing and I wrapped my jacket under my crossed arms awkwardly. 

Without giving an answer, I crooked a brow at him to silently ask what  **he** was doing marching the halls, fully dressed for the day at this time and his smile grew at my attitude. 

“I do a full sweep of the camp at this time every morning. Much easier to check everything with everyone out of the way.” He explained, his voice remarkably bright for such an ungodly hour and I felt the judgement of his lifestyle seeping into my expression.

“I couldn’t sleep.” I admitted quietly to distract from my disapproval of his choice to begin each day in this manner and he nodded slowly in understanding. “Thought a walk might clear my head. “ I clarified, fidgeting on the spot and he glanced around before speaking again, as if checking that we were definitely alone.

“I understand that Pike makes you uncomfortable.” He began, speaking as if he were treading on eggshells and I couldn’t prevent a loud scoff from immediately escaping me. 

If only things were as simple as a discomfort with the man, instead of deep distrust and a knowledge of his true nature that hardly anyone else shared with me. 

“It hasn’t passed my notice the influence that he has amongst Farm Station. However, we need to work towards reintegration and for that reason, I need to maintain a professional working relationship with him.” He elaborated in a manner that was unintentionally patronising and I rolled my eyes in frustration. 

Of course, I understood this, but it did little assuage my distrust of the man and it certainly wouldn’t persuade me to be civil with him. 

“Having said that, I don’t want you to misunderstand my intentions. I still have you on the council because I trust your opinion. If you feel that he is a threat, then believe me, I will take that very seriously. I will be monitoring him closely. You have my word on that.” He clarified, a slight smile hidden in the corner of his lips as he addressed me and I felt my brows raise in surprise as I processed his words.

I had been expecting a lecture on appropriate behaviour, but his statement of support was unexpectedly validating. I was unsure if he was even aware that his words were exactly what I needed in that moment, but I smiled thankfully at him regardless. Just as I moved to walk away, another thought popped into my mind and I paused on the spot as I considered how to address it.

“Bellamy trusts you.” I blurted, wringing my hands together nervously and I felt him viewing me with interest. “He won’t listen to me about Pike and just seeing how many people he’s managed to fool into following him already scares me. I don’t want Bellamy to fall under his spell too.” I revealed, hardly able to believe that I was opening up about this to Kane of all people, but there was something strangely calming about him now that I’d come to know him better that made me want to confide in him.

“You can guide him. He’ll listen to you. Help him to make the right choices. Please.” I pleaded, watching his brows furrow together in confusion and feeling insecure about my request, I rushed away before he could question me any further.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The sound of a door closing shocked me into consciousness and I sat up sharply from the tangle of the bedding. Through bleary eyes, I saw Bellamy entering our quarters, fully dressed as if he’d already begun his day and I examined him with confusion. Before I could get any questions out, he made his way over to the bed with an amused smile.

“You were out pretty hard. I didn’t want to wake you.” He commented as he perched on the edge of the bed and gently pushed some of my wild hair from my eyes. 

It remained a point of frustration to me that he was so handsome. It made it remarkably difficult to maintain any anger with him and although I urged myself to create some distance, my body ignored me as it melted under his touch. 

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly have the best night of sleep.” I muttered in a rough voice, fidgeting as I attempted to wake up and Bellamy studied me with concern. 

After my conversation with Kane, I felt slightly more relaxed and used this opportunity to return to bed. It was fortunate that Bellamy had still been asleep when I returned and it took barely moments for me to drift off once I’d climbed back under the covers with him. Judging by the amount of light in the room, it seemed that I’d managed at least another couple of hours, but I still felt exhaustion hanging around me and wondered if it was more due to an emotional strain than a need for sleep.

“You rested enough for a supply drop?” Bellamy enquired, scanning me worriedly as if searching for anything he could use to order me to stay in bed and I was flooded with nervous energy, immediately alert at his mention that something was happening in camp. 

“Mount Weather’s got power issues. Raven and Gina are being sent to help Sinclair, but Kane wants a few of us to join to make a delivery.” He explained casually, seeming as if he were simply pleased to have something to do and I quirked a brow at him with interest, my mind wasting no time in questioning the order.

“What could they possibly need from us? They’re living in supply central.” I pointed out, crossing my arms defensively and he quickly noticed my change in attitude. It wasn’t intentional, but even the mention of assisting Pike made my entire body tense up with stress. 

“Hey. I’m just the delivery boy. I don’t ask questions.” He remarked, slight amusement dancing over his handsome features and I huffed in annoyance. “Still bitter about them moving in?” He suggested, his brows furrowing together as he met my eyes and I shrugged avoidantly, hoping not to begin the day with an argument.

“It is what it is, right?” I grumbled as I slid away from him, making my way toward the other side of the bed to begin dressing for the day and he seemed put out that I had rushed out of his reach so eagerly. 

“If you haven’t got anyone else in mind to help us with the delivery already, I’m gonna find Octavia.” I explained as I stood to find my clothes and he reluctantly got to his feet to prepare himself too.

“That’s fine. Kane’s got most of the guards busy today, anyway.” He informed me and though I was curious, I decided to not pry any further at him. 

I could tell from his body language that he had hoped to spend some time together this morning, but I knew that any conversation we could have at the moment would only result in us rehashing the same situation. 

Instead, I simply finished getting ready and exited our quarters without another word to him. I still felt tense around Bellamy since our disagreement over Pike, but he had won over at least some small percentage of my confidence by offering for me to join him today. It was fortunate, as if he hadn’t, I would’ve absolutely insisted on tagging along anyway and that certainly wouldn’t have helped to solve things between us.

It took me a while to seek out Octavia, who seemed to still not have made any use of the room assigned to her and Lincoln other than for some limited storage. Wandering around her usual haunts, I couldn’t find any sign of her anywhere and was beginning to get worried when I finally discovered her tending to the horses in the stables.

“Hey, Tavi.” I announced brightly as I entered, glad to have the opportunity for some time alone with her and she simply hummed in response, seeming lost in thought herself. 

“You busy today? We’ve got a delivery to make to the Teacher Of The Year and his creepy followers, if you’re in?” I offered with a slight groan, causing her to stop her activities sharply and turn to face me with a frown. Her expression immediately clarified that she knew who I was referring to, as the anger that I felt in my gut burned in her eyes and I held my breath as I awaited her response.

“Really? We’re supplying that prick?” She growled, her demeanour radiating every bit as much as distrust as mine had yesterday and I couldn’t help a proud smile at our similarity. 

Though we didn’t always agree, I knew that she would always support me when it counted and I was glad that I didn’t have to remind her of the incident in the classroom for her to realise that he was a bad apple.

“My thoughts exactly.” I muttered with a smug expression and she sighed as she moved to pack away the items that she’d been using. 

“For some reason our leaders seem interested in keeping him alive. Madness if you ask me.” I added in a playful tone to lighten the mood and was pleased to catch a slight chuckle under her breath. If there was one thing that we’d always shared, it was wit and I enjoyed still being able to indulge in that with her at times. 

“Heard you gave him quite an earful yesterday?” She investigated, glancing over at me with a curious look and I nodded reluctantly, feeling awkward that word had already begun to spread around camp of my outburst. 

It wasn’t that I was ashamed of what I’d said, not by any means, but I disliked the reputation that reactions like this gave and felt I had undone months of hard work to change people’s perception of me. 

“Good. Someone should hold him accountable.” She praised, causing my embarrassment to fizzle away and I smiled back at her appreciatively, as she sighed. 

“I’ll tag along. Sounds like you could use some backup.” She finally announced, finishing cleaning up behind herself and I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that I would have someone to depend on in case I snapped again.

“Always.” I offered in a genuine tone, holding my fist out as she approached me and she bumped it with hers with a snort of laughter.

She fell into step with me as we marched toward the armoury together, a shared sense of determination between us and I knew that I needed to address some things with her before we were joined by anyone else. It was important for us to be a united front, especially if we were facing someone as manipulative as Pike and to do that, we needed to ensure that we were on the same page.

“What do you think about this whole Mount Weather thing?” I opened the conversation in a low voice.

I was genuinely unsure of where her opinion on this might land and I noticed that she was chewing her lips as she considered her response. I could only imagine how distressing the entire situation was for her and hoped that she was still able to differentiate her beliefs from Lincolns. 

“Lincoln thinks he can convince the grounders that it’s a good thing.” She started, as if repeating an answer that she had practiced multiple times and I raised a single brow at her to silently ask what  **she** thought. 

“I don’t know, Indie. The grounders are pretty strong in their beliefs and we haven’t exactly done much to earn their trust. If I were them, seeing us take over a grounder experimentation site, I’d be thinking it was a trap.” She revealed, speaking quietly to ensure that no one nearby overheard her and I nodded slowly in understanding. 

“How about you?” She returned the question with an interested expression and I cleared my throat.

“Logically, I can see the benefits. Advanced technology, equipment, medication.” I described carefully and although she was clearly reluctant, she nodded in agreement. It was undeniable that it could make a difference, but we both knew the decision was more complicated than simply just the usefulness of the location. 

“But I don’t think that any of these things are worth causing a war with the grounders. Abby and Kane are gonna have to tread very carefully if they are being honest wanting peace.” I explained, pushing my hair back in a gesture of exasperation and Octavia scoffed, shaking her head at this concept. 

Though I agreed it would be almost impossible to avoid, I couldn't help sensing something overly bitter in the way that she reacted and thinned my eyes at her suspiciously.

“Yeah. Good luck to you all with that. Let me know how it goes.” She muttered bitterly, speaking as if it were something that wouldn’t affect her and I stopped dead in my tracks, grabbing her arm to halt her. 

Octavia looked back at me to find that I was already examining her with evident confusion and released a deep sigh, fidgeting awkwardly on the spot as if she’d been dreading this conversation.

“I can’t keep living somewhere that Lincoln can’t even step out of the gates without risking his life.” She started, causing my brows to immediately shoot up in surprise at the implication that she might live somewhere else and I felt my mind racing. I opened my mouth to point out that we had a plan to address this with the Commander, but she cut me off.

“And honestly, I’m sick of feeling like I don’t belong. I’m not like the rest of our people, not anymore. You’ve lived out with Arlo. You know what I mean. I belong with the grounders.” She revealed, her every word shattering my heart into a million pieces and I stuttered in an attempt to find my words.

“No! You belong where your family is!” I spat in disbelief, hardly able to control the wave of emotions that crashed over me at the very idea of her leaving and she smiled sympathetically at me. 

My hands had already begun to shake at this revelation and I found myself mentally revisiting every interaction that I’d had with over the recent months, wondering where I had missed the hints that this might be coming.

“The family that are hardly talking to each other?” She pointed out sarcastically and I frowned, attempting to calm my thoughts enough to be able to verbalise them. 

Inwardly, I was begging her to stay, desperately reaching for anything that I could use to convince her and it was impossible to concentrate through the noise as she cleared her throat. 

“Come on. Everyone is too busy falling apart to take care of each other. We’re not a family unit anymore. People change.” She stated, her tone hinting that this was obvious and I felt my mouth drop open in shock.

“A dysfunctional family is still a family! Look at you and Bellamy.” I argued without thinking, causing a slight smile to cross her lips. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that how it sounded. I just...I can’t believe this. Where would you even go?” I stuttered, attempting to be understanding as I allowed her a chance to explain herself and she stepped forward to place her hands on my shoulders soothingly.

“I know this is hard for you to hear, but I can’t stay here, Indie.” She began, staring deeply into my eyes with a weak smile and I felt myself shaking under her firm grip. 

“Lincoln’s mentor Luna has her own community by the sea. We’ll have a place there.” She appealed in a gentle voice and I felt tears filling my eyes, despite my best efforts to remain calm. The sea already sounded too far, like some monstrous being that would be holding us apart and I could feel the upset crushing my chest as I considered it. 

“You have a place here! With me.” I stated firmly, feeling hurt that she didn’t already know that and she seemed conflicted as she viewed me. 

Though I had tried to allow her to grow as her own person, I had never imagined that there would be a need for us to part and I quickly realised that whilst I was focused on helping her to build her independence, I had failed to develop my own. 

“There’s no me without you, Tavi.” I confessed, my voice cracking slightly as I spoke and she didn’t hesitate for a moment before pulling me into a hug.

“No matter where I am, I’ll always be with you and you will  **always** be my family. There’s no amount of distance that can change that.” She whispered into my ear and I clung tightly to her, feeling as if she might disappear at this very moment if I let go. Tears ran down my face to land on her shoulder and I sniffed as I tried to contain them. 

“You’re always welcome to come with me, you know.” She added lightly, finally allowing some emotion to fill her voice too and I pulled back to view her with confusion.

“I can’t leave. I’m needed here.” I insisted, thinking of each of the loved ones that I still felt responsible for and Octavia sighed, clearly tired of telling me to focus more on myself. 

“Besides, Bellamy would never agree to come with me. I can’t split myself between two lives again.” I clarified, remembering how difficult it had been to balance life in Arkadia with my training with Arlo and Octavia nodded, as if she’d finally reached a point where we were in the same situation.

“And I can’t split myself between my loyalty and my needs.” She divulged, prompting me to realise that I was asking the same thing of her that she was of me and I sighed as understanding dawned on me. 

“We’d still have to get the kill order lifted to even be able to safely get that far anyway. Let’s just see what the summit decides and try not to worry about it until then, okay?” She instructed, patting me on the shoulder and I struggled to force my emotions back into their box to focus on the task ahead of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who is interested, here's a link to the video I made where you can Indie acting like she's in the 100! It's my first video so a little amateur, but still a fun watch. Just a heads up for anyone who is into Shadowhunters, there are major spoilers for this show included in the clips that I've used.  
> https://youtu.be/8c33yCpGodM


	10. 𝐺𝑟𝑢𝑑𝑔𝑒

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> So sorry for the delay in updating. I hadn't realised that I forgot to let my readers here know what is happening. 
> 
> Obviously, my posting schedule has kinda gone off track recently. I think a large reason that I am finding it hard to write any more WCR lately is that I feel embarrassed of it. I absolutely adore the story and always will, but the earlier chapters especially don't even begin to compare to how I feel I've grown, especially in book 2. So I've been gradually working through the first book and updating chapters when I can.
> 
> As for the new chapters, I am still hoping to work on them but can't commit to a schedule on when that will happen. I'm still hoping to post something every Saturday, but it'll depend which story I have content for.
> 
> Again, I just wanted to take this chance to say thank you for all of the wonderful support that I've received in the year that I've been posting online. It's been incredible to feel like my work is appreciated and I can't put into words how much joy it has given me.

**Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ:** Yᴇ Wʜᴏ Eɴᴛᴇʀ Hᴇʀᴇ

Raven and Gina were already in the middle of arranging tools for their task when we arrived in the docking bay and Octavia and I busied ourselves with loading the van with supplies, both feeling content to get this trip over with as soon as possible. 

We remained focused on the task at hand, until Bellamy arrived and called me over in his best attempt at a subtle manner and Octavia flashed me an interested look as I followed him from the room.

Before I could question him, he led me into a separate hallway where Kane was waiting for us.

“I’m sorry to pull you away from your work, but as council members, I thought you should know what’s happening.” He began, the serious expression that he wore causing a knot to form in my stomach and I waited with baited breath for an explanation.

“The Commander has made contact and offered us the chance to attend a summit today. Whilst you complete your delivery to Mount Weather, Abby and I will present our terms for an alliance.” He revealed, my back straightening up as my posture became alert and I glanced over at Bellamy to find that he was equally shocked at this sudden proposal. 

“But - you said you needed my help for that?” I stuttered, realising that he intended to keep me occupied whilst this meeting happened and feeling a surge of anger that my supposedly important position might have been a farce. “You said that I would come with you once a meeting was arranged. I can translate, at the very least.” I argued, hurt that I was being closed out now that we had finally reached our goal and Kane smiled at me in a manner that hinted at his conflict.

“With all due respect, Sir, I’m not happy about this either. If things go wrong, you should have the best of the guard with you.” Bellamy interjected, seeming equally put out by being excluded and I noted with concern that his first thought was to expect that they might need to fight their way out.

“Bellamy. You’re still recovering from your last impulsive encounter with a grounder. Until I can be confident that you aren't going to repeat that behaviour, I can’t in good conscience take you into their capital city.” Kane explained, as Bellamy grimaced and shook his head in disagreement, but remarkably held his tongue.

“And unfortunately, Indigo, it is not my choice on whether to bring you. Your teacher is assisting us in this meeting and she has forbidden me from bringing you into Polis.” He added, causing my mouth to drop open in shock.

“What? Why?!” I gasped, an overwhelming feeling of confusion and betrayal washing over me and Kane fidgeted awkwardly on the spot, clearly uncomfortable that he had been put in this position.

“I didn’t ask. But I got the impression that it was important. She certainly didn’t say it simply to be cruel.” Kane described, sounding as if he knew more than he was letting on and I hissed under my breath in frustration. 

“We can manage this. The Commander has proven herself to be reasonable and open to negotiation in the past. With Arlo’s support, I believe we could secure peace today. In the meantime, I’m trusting the two of you to assist in progressing the successful reintegration of Farm Station.” He added, fixing us both with meaningful looks and I rolled my eyes bitterly.

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you. You want us to butter up the bully, whilst you work on world peace.” I groaned, noticing a slight smile on Kane’s lips that he tried to hide. 

“Come on, Bel. Let's get this over with.” I suggested, placing a hand on his arm to encourage him to follow me and we made our way to the Rover together, both silently sulking about our rejections.

During the drive to the Mountain, Bellamy filled in the others about the Summit and whilst they all chatted about the possible outcomes, Octavia and I held a silent conversation of our own with only expressions. 

It was clear that she had noticed the tension between Bellamy and I, but I also knew that she understood why I was stressed by his recent behaviour. Having her with us was already more helpful than I had expected and I was able to relax somewhat at the thought that she would have my back if needed.

By the time that we arrived at our destination, Octavia was almost turning green from nausea and I had to stifle a laugh as she stumbled outside first. After immersing herself in grounder culture, it seemed that she’d lost her space legs and gained their dislike for any forms of transport other than horseback.

“I knew I should’ve taken my horse.” She groaned as she wobbled in an effort to reorient herself on the ground and I chuckled at her, whilst Gina hurried past us to check on Raven as she struggled out of the driver's seat. 

Though the girls moved easily into unloading the Rover, Bellamy seemed distracted, staring out into the distance as if he hadn’t even noticed the movement around him.

I already knew exactly where his mind was, as mine was trapped in the same terrifying space and I wandered over to stand silently by his side. 

We stood together without speaking for a few moments, both gazing in the direction of Polis and focusing on our own anxieties about the Summit. Though it seemed petty, I couldn’t help the niggling feeling that Bellamy had only wanted to join them in order to recover Clarke and I had to push the childish concern to one side.

“We should both be there.” He muttered finally, keeping his eyes trained in place and I sighed thoughtfully.

“Well, if you hadn’t chased after Clarke like a complete idiot, then you would be.” I responded accusingly, unable to contain the bitterness that was coursing through me and he turned to view me with a hurt expression. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just tense. I don’t understand why Arlo doesn’t want me there. I know that I could help.” I admitted, crossing my arms defensively and he nodded his head in understanding.

“I get it. You think that you’re being punished for something too?” He enquired, viewing me with concern and I chewed on my lip as I considered this.

“I don’t know. Leaving her? Maybe she thinks that if I’m not going to live like a grounder, then I don’t get to play the part? It's hard to figure out Arlo’s motives.” I explained, still muddling through possibilities in my mind and the question continued to bother me.

I recalled the conversations that we had about Azgeda, the many times that she told me I was not ready for the dangers that we would find there. However, the last time I had seen her, she’d offered for me to be a part of her investigations and I had to wonder exactly what kind of threat was in Polis that she would consider worse than the Ice Nation betrayal. 

“Kane’s right, though. You still need time to heal.” I added as I forced myself back into the present, flashing Bellamy a knowing look and he straightened up slightly, trying to correct his posture to hide the impact that his injury was still having on him.

“I’m fine. I’m ready to get back out there now.” He insisted, grabbing a bag from the back of the Rover to prove how capable he was, but I noticed a slight limp in his gait as he bought it over to me.

“Oh, really?” I asked innocently, raising my brows in disbelief as I offered him the chance to be honest with me and he gave me a stern nod in response.

My movements were too quick for him to anticipate as I reached out to jab him in the side and then much gentler at the stitches in his thigh. He yelped in pain, before dropping the bag to the ground with a thud and I crossed my arms again, as I fixed him with a scrutinising look. 

“You can’t con a con-artist, baby.” I crooned, turning to load myself up with my own share of cargo. “When you’re ready to get back out there, you know that I’ll have your back against Kane and anyone else that tries to stop you. But you had better believe that if you try to do it any sooner, I will beat your ass. With love.” I clarified, smiling warmly at him despite his annoyed expression.

“You drive me insane. You know that, right?” He grumbled as he straightened back up and I simply chuckled at him.

“Of course. How else am I supposed to entertain myself?” I remarked, glancing around to check that we were all ready to go, before I returned my attention to him. “Think you missed one.” I teased, pointing to the bag that I’d made him drop and he finally cracked a smile as he loaded himself up.

“You guys. Did I ever tell you about how I saved Sinclair’s ass on the Ark.” Raven quipped, joining us with a large bag hanging on her shoulder in determination and it was clear that getting out of Arkadia with Gina had lifted her spirits.

“Please, don’t.” Octavia groaned in disinterest, strolling away before Raven could engage her in a conversation and I flashed her a look that told her to stop the negativity.

“You mean the time you went rogue on a spacewalk?” Gina chimed in, immediately indulging Raven with a keen attitude that was heart-warming to witness and Octavia quickly clocked on to my intentions as I observed them with a smug pout.

Bellamy strode ahead to lead the group, leaving Octavia and I to fall into step side by side immediately behind him and we purposely allowed the girls some space to enjoy each other's company. The Rover doors closed behind us and I could still overhear their conversation as they followed us inside.

“That depends on your definition of going rogue.” Raven answered, her voice lighter than it had been in a while and hearing it gave me a deep sense of satisfaction.

“Oh, really?” Gina responded flirtatiously, prompting Octavia to raise a brow at me sneakily and I risked a quiet giggle. 

It was exciting to consider the way their relationship could develop and I hoped that I could count on seeing Raven smile like she was now more often. 

“I just hopped on a robotic arm and aimed it at the solar array.” Raven clarified, clearly enjoying herself as she recounted the details of the story with enthusiasm and I smiled at Octavia fondly. 

“ _I wish they’d bang already_.” Octavia groaned in Trig, rolling her eyes dramatically and I scoffed at how unchanged her attitude was towards anyone hesitating to get together.

“ _Hey. Not everyone moves as quickly as you. Plus, she went through a trauma. It’s gonna take time for her to be ready to try again. I’m just glad to see her happy._ ” I pointed out defensively, referring back to all of the times that she had pressured me when I first confessed to my feelings for Bellamy and Octavia softened her expression.

“ _I know. She deserves it._ ” She admitted carefully, the remorse in her expression revealing that she was likely thinking about Finn too and I nodded in agreement.

“ _Shof op._ ” [Quiet.] Bellamy remarked as he glanced back at us, only to be met with glares from us both for his rudeness. “You’re like a couple of gossiping old women.” He added, cracking a smile and I pouted, annoyed that he could tell we were up to no good despite his limited understanding of Trigedasleng.

Whilst Raven and Gina continued chatting happily behind us obliviously, I became aware of the sound of distant music and laughter, and felt my stomach drop with dread. It grew louder as we closed in on the dining room that Farm Station had been assigned to and as we turned the corner to the open doors, we were met with a scene of celebration.

A host of Farm Station inhabitants were filling the tables, indulging in a luxurious meal with music blaring around them in a joyous environment. 

I felt sick as I took in the situation and the feeling only worsened as I noticed Pike sitting at the top table. He had conveniently placed himself in the seat where the President once would usually preside over his residents and as he noticed our arrival, he regarded us with the same dishonest gaze that Dante has always given us.

Pike rose to his feet with an unnaturally warm smile and held out his arms in a strange gesture.

“Welcome!” He announced as he began to approach us and I found myself clenching my jaw to contain my emotions. 

“Come, join us.” He offered enthusiastically to which only Bellamy moved any further into the space, but I couldn’t bring myself to react at all, hesitating on the spot with the other three girls.

“Someone’s made themselves at home.” Raven muttered under her breath and I was glad to find that it wasn’t only Octavia and I that felt uncomfortable with this. It seemed strangely morbid to revel in the mountain's comfort when it had been a mass grave mere months ago. 

“ _Natronas_.” [Traitors.] Octavia spat under her breath, the fury that rose in her also bubbling in my stomach and I nudged her side subtly in support.

“ _Don’t let him make you lose your cool._ ” I warned, meeting her eyes with a meaningful expression and I waited for her to release a long breath, before encouraging her to step forward with me.

By now, I expected that Pike was already aware of both Octavia and I’s involvement with the grounders and after my previous outburst, I was cautious not to allow him any more ammunition to paint us as savages. The delicate balance here was obvious and it was important to ensure that the power remained where it should, with our current leaders who understood the need for peace.

“There must be thirty of them in here.” Octavia remarked as we reached Bellamy, attempting to gauge his reaction and although he seemed somewhat concerned, I could tell that he was not comprehending the impact of this as we were.

“Thirty-six, but the more, the merrier.” Pike responded cheerfully, oblivious to our disdain and Bellamy parted from us to greet him with a handshake.

The way that the two men smiled at each other made my stomach lurch and it took all of my self control to prevent the disgust from reaching my face. Though I tried to remind myself that Bellamy had a different impression of him to me, every time that Pike looked at my lover made my skin crawl.

“Thirty-six? Wow.” Octavia stated, the disapproval clear in her voice and I knew in that moment that it would be my responsibility to be the responsible one of us today. “The grounders are gonna think we moved in.” She added, forcing a tight smile after and Bellamy glanced back at us over his shoulder.

His gaze was a clear warning as he met Octavia’s eyes. He then turned to me as if wordlessly reminding me that it had been my idea to bring her along and I simply shrugged, unable to pretend that I didn’t agree with her sentiment.

“Well, there was no room at the Inn.” Pike excused, leaning past Bellamy to meet Octavia’s eyes with a charming smile, but she remained stern faced, demonstrating that she would not be fooled by him.

“And this is your option?” She interrogated, unwilling to drop this fight just yet and I noticed Bellamy’s shoulders tense at her attitude. She was damaging his pristine reputation and I could tell that he wanted to maintain his air of control around Pike.

“O.” Bellamy drawled, glancing over his shoulder at her again impatiently and she sighed, before sneaking an apologetic peek at me.

“I’m outta here.” She announced, dropping her bags into my hands with annoyance and turning to storm out without another word.

“Tavi!” I called after her, keen to encourage her to stay, but she ignored my cries as she stomped down the hall toward the exit, leaving me caught between the two siblings again.

Before I could make a decision on who to support, Pike gave Bellamy a wide smile that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and I resolved to stick with my earlier plan to never leave him alone with Bellamy.

“Spirited.” Pike commented idly as he watched Octavia leave, causing Bellamy to nod dismissively in response and I couldn’t prevent myself from butting into their conversation.

“She’s not spirited. She’s right. We've survived this long because of our truce with the grounders. Like it or not, your group being here endangers that.” I pointed out, causing the smile to fade from his face and as I caught sight of Bellamy’s expression, I softened my voice. 

“People died here. Lots of people. Many of our own were held captive and tortured inside of this facility, including me. This may be a great place for you, but try to respect that it’s a painful memory for some of **us** , not just the grounders.” I reminded him and though I was sure that Bellamy would prefer me to simply be friendly, I caught a hint of pride in the way that he smiled at me.

“I understand. My apologies.” Pike answered, his voice completely void of any authenticity as he returned to his political act and I forced a polite smile in response.

“I’m gonna go check on O.” Bellamy announced, relieving me from the strain of remaining at Pike’s side and I nodded gratefully.

“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll see if Raven and Gina need any help.” I reported, keen to make my escape and Bellamy caught me off guard by bending down to kiss my cheek before he left.

Though I knew that it was likely meant as a subtle way of telling me that he was proud of me for keeping my cool, I felt uncomfortable that Pike had witnessed it. 

When I turned to seek out the girls, I noticed that Pike was now studying me with interest and I rushed out of the dining hall before he could say anything to cause me to lash out. 

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The gentle teaching methods that Knox had used to train me to help out in mechanical had done little to prepare me for working with Raven. Though I’d asked for simple tasks that could lighten her workload, her perfectionist nature made even that next to impossible and if it wasn’t for Gina playing the mediator, I was pretty sure that I’d have punched her by now.

It was a relief when Sinclair arrived to tell us that we were being called to a priority mission and we wasted no time in dropping our tools to follow him.

My mind was already racing with scenarios as we raced through the halls and lights flickered on and off all around us due to our unfinished work. 

“Why the hell are they calling us off?” Raven questioned, moving ahead to walk alongside Sinclair, and Gina and I followed, listening carefully for any insight that we could gain. “I’ve got tripped circuits all over the grid.”

“Oh, whatever it is, it supersedes fixing the power problem.” Sinclair responded with frustration and his words caused my stomach to drop.

When we’d left this morning, Kane had made it clear that keeping Farm station happy was a top priority and I couldn’t imagine anything positive being important enough to change that. 

“Hey. Try not to panic.” Gina remarked quietly and I turned my attention to her with confusion. “I know that face. Whatever it is, we’ll manage it. We always do.” She asserted with a reassuring smile and I sighed, disappointed that I was so easy to read nowadays.

“That’s easier said than done. Anything happening on the day of the Summit can only spell bad news.” I mumbled, feeling dread already gathering in my chest and she nodded in understanding.

As we rushed toward the dining hall, a spark exploded out of a nearby socket and both Sinclair and Raven paused to check that it could be made safe. Unable to wait any longer for answers, I rushed ahead and jogged my way into the hall to find Bellamy, Octavia and Pike surrounding an unfamiliar grounder.

“White war paint.” I stated, identifying her clan the moment that I got a clear look at her and she glanced up at me, thinning her eyes in interest. “Who is this? And why are we holding her?” I interrogated, turning to face the two men suspiciously and Bellamy shifted on the spot.

“This is Echo. The one I told you about, she helped me when I was trying to get you all out of the mountain.” He explained, seeming especially awkward about repeating this in front of Octavia and Pike, and I turned to examine her much more closely now, both of us seeming to be getting the measure of each other.

“You didn’t mention that she was Ice Nation.” I remarked, keeping my eyes trained on her and she seemed somewhat alarmed by my perceptiveness.

“Honestly, I didn’t know how to tell the difference when we met.” Bellamy confessed, shrugging apologetically as he spoke. “She came to tell us that the Summit is a trap. Our people are in danger.” He explained in a rushed manner and though I whipped around to face him in shock, Pike interrupted before I could get another word out.

“You’re one of them. So, why are you telling us this?” Pike grilled, glaring down at Echo aggressively and though I was also on edge with the situation, I didn’t appreciate his intimidating behaviour to our possible ally. 

“We abandoned Skaikru in the battle for the mountain.” Echo answered, returning Pike’s eye contact with no fear, then she turned to face Bellamy with guilt in her eyes. “It was wrong.” She added, earning a subtle nod of appreciation from him and at least a hint of my respect for admitting this.

“And won’t they miss you?” Pike suggested, leaning closer into her in an attempt to frighten her and her posture grew tense, making it clear that she was losing patience with his distrustful attitude.

“Maybe.” She answered sharply, glancing up at him with disdain and I watched her closely for any signs of deceit. “But that’s why we need to hurry.” She confirmed, scanning each of us impatiently and I was unable to tell whether she seemed genuine.

“Pike. She saved my life. We can trust her.” Bellamy asserted, his voice remarkably certain and though I was pleased to see him standing up to Pike, I couldn’t help an uneasy feeling at how quickly he had trusted this Ice Nation soldier.

Though I wanted to raise my concerns, I decided to wait until Pike couldn’t hear us so that I didn’t undermine Bellamy. It had been hard to convince him to trust the grounders in the first place and I definitely didn’t want to give Pike a chance to jump on my doubt, or to use it to manipulate Bellamy. 

“Listen up.” Bellamy announced as Sinclair, Gina and Raven finally arrived in the dining hall. “If we want to get to Polis before the attack, we have to move.” He ordered, as I noticed all of the guns that were being unpacked around us and began to feel the stress of this threat pushing down on me.

“Attack?” Sinclair questioned, staring at Bellamy in wide eyed disbelief and I was glad that he had arrived to add another voice of reason to the room. “Do we have confirmation of that?” He enquired, glancing between us worriedly and I looked over at Bellamy for an answer.

“We radioed, but no answer.” He revealed and I pushed my hair out of my face to rub at my temples. This was certainly not the result that I’d hoped for and knowing that Pike and the others weren’t responding only added to the urgency of the situation. 

“They may already be dead for all we know.” Pike suggested, attempting to rile the group into a frenzy and I jumped in to cut him off.

“No way. Arlo would have got them out.” I argued, noticing that Echo perked up at this name and resolved to follow this up later. “Indra wouldn’t allow anyone to harm them either. They have allies in there. Kane was extremely cautious since we moved this lot in. He might not have wanted to take any technology inside.” I theorised, attempting to find a less disastrous reason for their lack of contact and Pike scoffed loudly at my comments.

“We can’t possibly know that! The grounders they were meeting might even be involved. They could already have killed our people and if they have, we need to be ready to respond.” Pike exclaimed, pushing at my fragile self control and I moved closer to face him down.

“Oh, I’m sure you’d love that. Any reason to start a fight with them.” I accused, squaring my shoulders as I spoke and as he opened his mouth to defend himself, I spoke over him. “What is it you called yourselves when you came across our first group? Grounder killers, wasn’t it?” I recalled, making him squirm in response and he turned to appeal to Sinclair instead.

“We can’t allow this to go unanswered.” He stated firmly, as if he were already certain that a crime had been committed and I was relieved when Sinclair refused to shrink under his aggressive behaviour.

“Don’t make this about the missiles.” Sinclair answered evenly, holding Pike’s gaze with confidence and I felt my heart skip a beat as I processed his words.

“This is about survival!” Pike defended passionately and fire began to rise from the pit of my stomach at this new development. “We don’t have the numbers, but the missiles in this mountain even the playing field and you know I’m right.”

“Why are we even talking about missiles? You want to blow up the place where our people are, just in case they’re dead? Are you completely insane?!” I yelled, my voice rising out of my control and everyone around me jumped at my sudden outburst, causing me to lower my voice before I spoke again. “This mountain has already annihilated too many grounder villages and you're seriously considering bombing their capital? How is that going to help **anything**? We’d just become the same as the monsters that we fought out of this place.”

“Indigo’s right. We shouldn’t be discussing measures like this. We need to focus on saving our people.” Gina piped up, helping to break the tension in the air and when I met her eyes, she gave me a supportive smile.

“Even if I did agree with you, we still don’t have the launch codes. So let’s focus on what we can do.” Sinclair argued and for a moment, I felt relieved that Pike’s tirade had come to an end, before Raven stepped in to reopen the argument.

“No, but we have me.” She announced, as I rolled my eyes at her in disappointment, but my expression was nothing next to Sinclair, who just stared at her with blatant annoyance for several moments.

“And you accuse engineers of arrogance?” He questioned under his breath as he approached her, his firm gaze expressing the many criticisms that he refrained from saying aloud and I gained a new respect for him, as he refused to be bullied into rash action.

“I’m growing as a person.” She shrugged carelessly, before wandering off with Gina at her side and Sinclair following closely behind, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Let’s go.” Pike growled in a low, threatening voice as he pulled Echo from her seat and I was on him before I’d even decided what I would say.

“Get your hands off her!” I spat, barging him backwards and placing myself between them. “You’ve made your feelings on grounders abundantly clear today. If you think that I’m leaving you alone with one, you’re even more unstable than I thought.” I stated, holding my position to shield her from his reach as I turned my face to Octavia.

“ _I can’t come with you. Watch this man like your life depends on it, because it very well might. Keep an eye on your idiot brother for me too. I can’t handle him sulking his way through another injury. And don’t forget that she is from Azgeda_.” I blurted, noticing that Pike’s eyes widened as he realised that I could also speak Trig and Octavia nodded keenly back at me. 

“ _Don’t worry. I know a snake when I see one_ .” She answered, glancing at Pike with a smirk and I was relieved that she didn’t hesitate to support me. “ _And I’m always careful. If she’s up to something, I’ll find out. Besides, she knows that she can’t hide anything in Trig now_.” She added, glancing back at Echo who was assessing us both with surprise, before Octavia stepped behind me to move her out of Pike’s reach far more gently than he had.

“Octavia will manage her. You can go.” I stated coldly, as he glanced over at Bellamy for support and when he didn’t receive it, he reluctantly left us.

“You’re not happy with this plan?” Bellamy suggested, approaching me with a concerned look and I sighed thoughtfully, glad that we could finally discuss this situation alone.

“I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right. I just can’t figure out what.” I admitted, glancing up at him nervously and he furrowed his brows. “Just be careful not to be blindsided. I completely understand why you trust Echo, but try to remember that she is Azgeda. We don’t know how long she’d been locked up for when you met her, but now she’s been home for a while. Her loyalties will have changed. We’ve never been good at getting ahead of their plans and we don’t know if she’s part of their agenda somehow. She may not even know if she is.” I suggested as I desperately tried to consider every possible outcome, rubbing at my temples in stress and he pushed my hands away to cup my face.

“We’ll be careful, Inds. Eyes wide open. Nothing gets past you.” He promised, placing a kiss on my forehead and I sighed guiltily at his words. He thinned his eyes at me, realising that something was off and I glanced up sadly up at him, feeling immensely torn between commitments. “You’re not coming, are you?”

“Someone has to stay behind and make sure that they don’t blow up Polis. Besides, I’m not allowed in, remember? If they’re okay in there, Arlo will just be angry that I came.” I divulged, feeling immensely pressured by this responsibility and he smiled at me with understanding. “Please be safe. I know the stakes are high and that usually brings out your hero streak, but I’m gonna need you to be sensible. Pike’s already a loose cannon with a grudge against grounders. You don’t need any more risks.” I clarified, feeling as if it was impossible to know the right decision between staying here and joining them to keep an eye on Pike.

“I’ll keep things under control. Octavia will watch Echo and I can watch Pike. Have faith, Love. We’ll bring our people back.” He assured, caressing my face comfortingly and I tried my hardest to believe in him. “You just make sure no one here blows us up.” He added teasingly and I couldn't stop myself from smiling as he pulled me into a kiss. 


End file.
